2026-03-18 08:45:00
Primaries were today in my state, and among like 10 or so races (many local), I had 3 actual choices to make on the Democrat ballot.
One I outsourced to my bestie who's a politics junkie ... that race had like 8 candidates and well frankly I didn't realize it was voting day until another friend texted that she just voted! WHOOPS I knew it was coming but iiii lost track of time. But that's a lot of people to read up on.
Comptroller had 4 choices, and my congressional district had 4 iirc. Each of them had campaign websites, and I didn't go any deeper than reading their platforms.
For each race there was only one candidate I particularly liked, and the choice wasn't hard to make. But it felt like I was actually making a choice with a reasonable amount of information & that was nice.
Now ... most of the races were uncontested, including Governor, County Board, and several others. That's not great.
But idunno. I felt good about my votes. It felt like I was making an actual choice, rather than rubber-stamping approval. And it just invigorated me.
Honestly, I think it was more the homework that invigorated me than anything. I kinda liked reading up on them.
I wonder if this feeling will last. I hope so.
P.S. My favorite part about their platforms was the boring and specific stuff. Such-and-such city needs a new water tower. I support bill SB1234 because it does this. I'll protect your privacy and here's my specific experience with that.
2026-03-06 15:23:00
I'm 33, and age hasn't been the kindest to me, but I take better care of myself lately, so most of my pains have subsided. But, I won't grow back the two inches I lost to osteopenia, caused by a Vitamin D deficiency I failed to treat for years due to poverty and the cost of vitamins (and poor decision making).
Well tonight I was eating chips & salsa and my fucking tooth broke. It's a little bit black inside. Thankfully, it doesn't hurt. But the feel of the inside of my mouth is different and I hate that. It makes me anxious, and I'm obsessing over it & constantly poking it with my tongue.
I was really upset when it happened though.
Idunno. You just expect yourself to be whole, to stay whole. And then part of you breaks, breaks off of you. It's gone & there's no getting it back. Maybe I can get a filling, maybe I'll have another blank spot in my bottom row of teeth. My family might be able to afford getting me an implant, but I probably won't ask that of them.
I wallowed and sulked and complained a bit. It sucks. But the sadness mellowed. And then I've been miserable for the last 2 or so hours because of the anxiety. Some yoga helped with that, and maybe I'll meditate too.
It just fucking sucks though. It's bullshit.
Probably wouldn't have happened if I had regular dental care. Something I could have been more proactive with. BUT ALSO. I live with mental disability, and it had been really bad for years. For YEARS I tried to get a care coordinator through my health insurance (they said they offer it!), and they failed to provide one. FINALLY, after much nagging and repeated phone calls, i was finally assigned one.
Well she was fucking worthless. She literally wouldn't coordinate any care for me. She didn't even try. I asked for a new coordinator and nothing ever came of it.
Medicaid technically covers dental, but the dentist in my area yields only horror stories, people leaving worse off than when they arrived. Nobody else takes medicaid.
I'm sad, and I'm mad, and I'm anxious, and I'm annoyed. But it's also ... okay?
I still have most my teeth. I'm not in pain. I can chew. I am mobile. My mental is better than it has been in years. And I'm alive, dude. We get such long lifespans in our modern world, and I am just so grateful to have made it this far. So grateful that I get to keep going. But mannn some of the bumps along the way are BULLSHIT lol
have a great day, brush your teeth, floss, go to the dentist, invite friends over to hang out, and just take a deep breath and smile sometimes, just cuz you can & it usually feels good. Breathing and smiling is freedom.
2026-03-05 03:55:00
This book is a look at modern physics theories like quantum mechanics, and Eastern spiritualities like Buddhism, drawing parallels between the two.
I liked this book. It was a really great companion book to What Is Real? by Adam Becker. What is Real had a very different focus (history of Quantum Mechanics), but they complimented eachother very well.
I liked learning about Eastern spiritualities in some more depth than I had before. I liked learning about the physics stuff. Since What Is Real had focused on a very specific debate in physics, it was more in depth, but had less breadth. This book covered a wider range of physics theories, and I was really grateful for that.
I didn't find the parallels between the two all that interesting. I liked each subject matter (physics and eastern spirituality), and I see the parallels Capra laid out, I just didn't find the parallels themselves all that interesting. I do vaguely see how it could be useful for physicists to expand their perspectives by looking at the parallels, though.
Honestly I just don't have a lot to say about this book. It's good. It's solid. Its a soft recommend. I'm not passionate about it or anything though. I don't hate it; I don't love it.
Also see Particles don't exist
2026-02-27 04:12:00
My writing has felt corrupted lately. Like I got into a stint of writing that was focused on advocacy (primarily around animal freedom), and it's just felt like there's something missing. Like the old drive to write has been suppressed lately. And I guess I'm tired of writing political commentary too? Idunno. I just know there is a spark that's missing recently.
This is okay, I go in cycles, and the spark will return, I'm sure, perhaps in a different form. Part of me wants to start blogging in more of a thoughtful and crafted way. Most of my posts are basically just slop - a brain-dump with light editing.
Also ugh, I've been uninspired by my video games lately, and not sure what else to do with my time. I'll hop in Rocket League for 4 or 5 games, most of which feel ... fine but I'm only 75% into it. And then I quit, cuz blah, I'm just kinda over it.
Coding is nice when I'm feeling it. I think a healthy choice would be to go on walks, or to work on house chores that are generally neglected, or maybe to find recipes and cook.
My life is very routine, and I think it's just getting a little old. Routines are important for me. They keep me mentally stable and allow me to better care for my health & relationships. I actually like my routines for the most part. But yeah, maybe it's just getting stale.
Last night, I was rather excited for today's breakfast and watching some Trackmania, as well as my coffee that follows. And I was excited to read more about bears (I have a lovely book about north american bears from my library, full of perfect pictures of perfect cuties), which I'll do late late tonight. But most of my day, was just like ... lacking anything to be excited for.
I think I've just been so unwell for so long. I don't really know how to live differently than as a pseudo-shutin. I do spend time with my friends, which I love, and is almost always routine-disruptive (which is generally fine). Like I do get out some, I'm not a total shut-in. Being poor doesn't help either.
I'm generally not well enough mentally to do hobby projects, and even if I were I generally can't afford the materials needed for hobby projects. I can't afford to go out to eat or to concerts or to bowling or to play pool or really much of anything.
I applied for disability a year or two ago. I was denied, then my first appeal was denied, and then I was unable to submit my second appeal due to my personal limitations, and unfortunately my support system was insufficient.
I might try working a regular job in the next few months. I don't think I can. But, like, I guess I could try and see how it goes. If it goes well, that'd be good. If it goes badly, that could help me with a new disability case, perhaps. The worst case of the bad-outcome is really just that I'd have to recover from burnout, something I've done many many times before. It's not fun, but it's fine, it's life, for me.
Dang I thought this was gonna be a short post but then I yapped, which I guess kind of satisfies that writing-spark that's felt like it's been missing lately.
I think part of the problem is that it feels pointless, the writing. I think that's part of why video games have lost a lot of their luster, too.
I also suspect there's some loneliness at play, some desire for companionship. But alas, trying to date is just ... not something I feel equipped for, either mentally or financially.
2026-02-19 03:53:00
A letter I sent to one of my state reps, who is the primary sponsor of a bill that would ban plastic bags and add a 10 cent tax on recycled paper bags.
I'm contacting you because you're the primary sponsor of [bill number] and I have a related proposal, which is simply that retailers cannot require consumers to use a bag.
For context:
I shop at [Cannabis Store] in [redacted]. It's a cannabis dispensary. Every time I shop there, they put the product (which is in a sealed jar, as required by law) into a disposable plastic shopping bag with their brand information on it.
When I've refused the bag in the past, they told me I have to take it. They've told me it's required by law (which is not true), among other things.
They have since added a trashcan at their exit so that on your way out, you can throw away their bag if you so please. After I make my purchase, I remove my product and receipt from the bag and leave the bag on the counter. When I do this, they tell me "I'm going to need you to take the bag with you". I say "No thank you" and I don't take the bag.
While they have not banned me yet for refusing to follow their wasteful policy, this sort of friction is not something anybody should have to deal with. There is an environmental component of the plastic waste, but there is also the consumer-rights issue of a business (a public accommodation) forcing me, a consumer, to engage in behavior that is not required by law, that has no clear social benefit, that also produces waste.
I support [bill number]. I also think a piece of legislation like I'm proposing would be incredibly easy to pass, and would incur zero costs for any consumers or businesses. It also aligns politically with conservatives who would likely support the aspect of empowering individual freedom.
Thanks,
Reed
2026-02-19 03:33:00
I wrote the following Letter to my local paper. (they publish almost every letter I send, and I encourage you to submit letters too!)
The first time I mentioned anxiety to my Dr., she offered me pills and no other options.
I recently read about a meditation study that enrolled participants in an 8 week class where they learned about mindfulness meditation and meditated in class, and this was just as effective as Lexapro at treating anxiety and depression.
The first take-away is that meditation is a real treatment for some mental disorders. Second, and more importantly, is that this was a system of support, not a take-home do-it-yourself assignment.
When you have knee surgery, you may be prescribed physical therapy. You go to a clinic, and a physical therapist tells you what exercises to do, serving as a professional instructor, provider of equipment, and as a social support. The social support and accountability is really important.
Many of you know how hard it is to continue physical therapy at home, on your own. There is no real accountability, and nobody to help you in that setting. It works for some people, but many of us need support. Those of us suffering from mental illness need support too.
Pharmaceuticals are a great option for people who want them, and many people's lives are vastly improved by them. Pharmaceuticals are an option, not the only option.
I'm writing this letter to ask that the medical professional establishment add holistic treatments like meditation to their repertoire and develop systems of support so these treatments are actually effective.
Other holistic approaches should be incorporated as well, such as exercise programs and casual social groups like helping a lonely and depressed, but athletically-inclined patient find a local sports group to play with. Material support can also be incredibly important - helping people get new clothes, or assistance with house-cleaning or going to the grocery store.
