2026-04-22 02:54:45
Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. You can also read Drew over at SFGATE, and buy Drew’s books while you’re at it. Today, we're talking juicers, the Spock market, airplane seat prep, and more.
Your letters:
Brendan:
2026-04-22 01:27:18
New England Patriots coach Mike Vrabel decided to have a press conference Tuesday, addressing the media for the first time since those eyebrow-raising photos of him and now-former NFL insider Dianna Russini were published. What did Vrabel want to tell everyone? It's not really clear based on what he actually said.
Vrabel started the press conference by issuing a classic non-denial denial, never addressing the photos directly. All that was made apparent is that he has had "difficult conversations" with the team and his family, and that he will "attack each day with humility and focus." Here's the meat of it:
I’ve had some difficult conversations with people that I care about: with my family, the organization, the coaches, the players. Those have been positive and productive. You know, we believe in order to be successful on and off the field, you have to make good decisions. That includes me, that starts with me. We never want our actions to negatively affect the team. You never want to be the cause of a distraction. And when I—those are comments and questions that I’ve answered for the team, with the team, we’ll keep those private and to ourselves.
2026-04-22 01:05:06
The Carolina Hurricanes spent Game 1 displaying exactly why they're among the East's favorites. After the Ottawa Senators dropped Game 2 in double overtime, they're left ruing all the opportunities they didn't take advantage of in a much more evenly played game. Against these Hurricanes, they know you can't trust luck to do the hard work. And you can't waste chances.
A quick primer on the Canes: This is their eighth straight season making the playoffs under head coach Rod Brind'Amour, and in every single appearance they've won at least one series. That said, they've also fallen short of the Cup Final every time, with a total of just one win across three conference final outings. In the regular season, they've racked up points with a tried-and-true formula that maximizes shot differential and keeps the puck as far away from their own net as possible. On an average night in the NHL, that work gets you wins on its own, and it's how the Canes finished fifth-best in the league in goals against, even as none of their goalies played above average. But in a best-of-seven against one of the league's very top teams pushing themselves like there might not be a tomorrow, Carolina's consistently found itself on the wrong end of talent mismatches.
The good news for the Canes, however, is that this might be the most skilled forward group yet assembled in Raleigh. A centerpiece in Sebastian Aho has been complemented by a new career high in goals and points for Andrei Svechnikov, an impactful free-agent signing in Nikolaj Ehlers, and younger guys who are developing at an exciting pace in Seth Jarvis, Logan Stankoven, and Jackson Blake. I might not pick them in a third-round clash with the Lightning, but the first round against the Senators is a different story—one that looks a lot like that 2-0 Game 1 victory. What I particularly loved, and which I'd been wowed by before, was the way they sucked the life out of Ottawa once they took "the most dangerous lead in hockey," playing with both hustle and smarts on both ends to absolutely smother even the idea of comeback. It was as grand a statement of belief and purpose as you'll see at the start of a playoff run, and it's a testament to the culture Brind'Amour's cultivated that he's been able to get so much mileage out of this demanding and difficult style of hockey.
2026-04-22 00:23:04
I took the D-shirt challenge, knowing it would be an emotional rollercoaster through weepy terrain.
There was some sun overhead though, and some smiles to cut through the cold reality that I had to do it alone. Dan McQuade was my son, and as anyone who is familiar with his work here at Defector and elsewhere would know, he loved collecting bootleg T-shirts. The plan was for Dan and me to chart his massive bootleg T-shirt collection before he died. Thanks ultimately to his wife, Jan, who is very smart, the 1,200 or so shirts he accumulated could already be found in one of our closets inside 30 giant, blue plastic bags of Herculean strength.
How they got there through my wife Denise’s NBA-playoff style defense against clutter is a wonder. I’m sure Jan convinced Dan in a nice way, because she’s a nice person, that either the extensive sneaker collection or his famous T-shirt extravaganza had to find new lodgings to make room for two-year-old Simon’s ever-growing toy truck fleet.
2026-04-21 23:30:58
Patriots' Day in Massachusetts is known for two things: the Boston Marathon and Here Comes The Pizza. No longer. The third Monday in April will forevermore be remembered as the day Cribl, Axonius, and Netskope were at Fenway Park. No need to clean out your ears, you heard me correctly: Cribl, Axonius, and Netskope.
I'm not sure you understand what a big deal this is. Cribl, Axonius, and Netskope! Three of the entities of all time! Will wonders never cease? Cribl and Netskope taking in a Red Sox game together, sure. That wouldn't make headlines. Cribl and Axonius? I could see it happening. But Cribl, Axonius, and Netskope? All in one place? At the same time? And in historic Fenway Park? Pull the other one!
2026-04-21 23:12:41
The Edmonton Oilers are perceived to have been cruising on Connor McDavid's nickname more than a decade now, and will be for maybe another decade. And while it became a matter of cross-border amusement that McJesus could not win a Stanley Cup from a guy nicknamed Bob, it was also true that McJesus was both aptly and unironically named. This has not been more evident than this season, in which he not only led the league with 138 points (48 goals, 90 assists) but was an even more central truth in that he scored a point in all but 14 games this season, and the Oilers lost every one of those 14. If that isn't the very definition of a most valuable player, then value is just another beauty contest.
Then came Monday night and, for you trogs who live on the wrong side of the continental shelf, this morning. There was no McDavid point in Game 1 of the Oil's first-round series against the Anaheim Ducks, but the reflexive defeat didn't happen either. Edmonton took a 2-0 lead that, given it's the Ducks, seemed insurmountable, and gave it back and then some over 14 minutes of the second period. Given the Oilers' successive Final losses to Florida, the postseason has become as much a trigger as a reward, and McDavid not breaking the seal on his playoff would seem to negate the return of Leon Draisaitl from injury hell, at least for the fans and vagrants who stood outside the arena watching on big screens.
Well, McDavid didn't make the scoresheet in the final period either, although Draisaitl did, but the Oilers did something odd. They stole the game back and escaped with a 4-3 win that was very much against what we like to call the run of play. It was their first win without a point from McDavid since last May, when they knocked Vegas out with a 1-0 win in the conference semifinals.
