2025-12-25 23:01:05
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday at Defector during the NFL season. Got something you wanna contribute? Email the Roo. You can also read Drew over at SFGATE, and buy Drew’s books while you’re at it.
I am no longer a full-time writer, primarily because I work too slowly and the pay sucks. But a secondary reason is that my brain does not carve out hardline stances that make for good takes. For example: I don’t particularly like Christmas! But even with my humbug sliders maxed out, I could never reach the level of contempt that ur-crank Albert Burneko doled out for Santa Claus:
2025-12-25 22:00:08
This is the time of year to be grateful for not having things stuck in our asses, and to think of those less fortunate than us. So spare a thought for those Americans who misjudged the capacity of their own orifices.
All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and all the people involved had a very bad time.
2025-12-24 22:19:42
Happy holidays, pals! The site will be in low-power mode for the next couple of days, so feel free to entertain yourselves here while we warm our feet by the fire.
Onward!
2025-12-24 05:31:04
Longtime elite gymnastics coach Al Fong has been suspended for physical and emotional misconduct by the U.S. Center for SafeSport, the organization created by Congress to investigate reports of sexual abuse and misconduct across dozens of Olympic sports. The suspension will last for five years, per the USA Gymnastics database of suspended and restricted people.
Fong's wife, Armine Barutyan, who also coaches gymnastics, has also been suspended by SafeSport for physical and emotional misconduct. Her suspension, per USAG, is for one year.
2025-12-24 02:45:25
You would think a miserable year would be inspirational for a true hater. In actuality, it was hard to hold onto petty grievances and curmudgeonly grudges when the world has tilted into disarray. There is no respite from our constant toiling in a dystopian nightmare. Who really cares about Travis Scott and his Gatorade commercial music when you see what's happening to Palestine, Sudan, and immigrants right here at home? But criticism is about forming opinions and maintaining standards on what art should aspire to, and calling things out when that standard is not being upheld. Through the best of times and the worst of them.
And so we have the 2025 Hate List, my own Hater's Ball about the bullshit and shenanigans of a year that I cannot be silent about. It's a varied collection, a snapshot of the kinds of drivel and dishonesty that have been allowed to thrive mostly unchecked for much of the year. It's also full of pettiness, because sometimes you hate things for no other reason than the love of the game. But just as it's important to catalog the year's worst offerings, it's also important to give clarity on what is not featured on this list and why.
2025-12-24 01:14:28
Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. You can also read Drew over at SFGATE, and buy Drew’s books while you’re at it. Today, we're comparing and contrasting highway rest stops and malls and discussing NFL quarterback busts, plus knives, best-movie lists, and more.
Hello! Drew is off. I am your Funbaggist today. All hail the Funbaggist!
