2025-11-21 08:39:00
During my decoupling from almost all online services and apps I had (2016-2018), I was prone to looking at the people around me with concern and judgment about their digital consumption.
It was the typical sort of short-term enlightenment phase you get when you realize something big and change your life around. When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and because I was so freshly into deleting my social media and installing website/app blockers on my devices, every person on their phone in public was a consumerist victim addicted to the screen in my eyes. The prevalence of that view made it feel like a national emergency, a contagious disease ruining us all.
Smugly, I looked around and thought: Wow, thank god I’m not a zombie anymore! I’m totally in control of my own thoughts and consumer behavior! I’m self-aware and no longer have my attention hijacked! As these people are on their phones endlessly scrolling, I’m reading a non-fiction physical book, which is so much more worthwhile and healthier for my brain and attention span!
I still don’t have social media accounts, and I don’t even need any blockers anymore. My phone isn’t tempting me and neither is my laptop. I’m okay with my screentime.
Since then, I have mellowed out. For one, it became the new normal, and also, I recognized that I made up stories in my head to feel superior to others. The truth is: By looking around, I don’t actually know what anyone else is doing. It’s just a baseless assumption in alignment with my own worldview, a self-serving one at that.
While looking at their phone or tablet, others might be reading an e-book, studying, messaging a friend, doing their shopping list, journaling, making an appointment, searching for recipes, looking at maps or checking off a to-do list. While having their headphones in, they might be listening to a guided meditation, an audiobook or voice messages by friends, or just use noise-cancelling while nothing is playing, or use it as a deterrent for others to leave them alone. I can’t know that.
And even if they aren’t, and they’re playing Subway Surfer or scrolling on TikTok while listening to music, I don’t care anymore. They don’t owe me the opposite, and they aren’t out in public to impress my opinionated ass. Why should they engage with only what I personally think is good?
I will probably see about 10 minutes of this person’s life before never (knowingly) seeing them again, and it’s not nearly enough time to get an idea of their digital habits. Seeing them as someone who can’t sit with their own thoughts, a sort of addict, is an unfair view.
In the end, the places where I noticed the most glued-to-the-phone-behavior were the most boring places known to man. What did I expect looking around in doctor’s waiting rooms and public transport? And why did I have to compare myself to them and come out on top? Why did I feel like rawdogging these moments with no entertainment would earn me a medal?
Ohhh my god you didn’t check your phone so far today? Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite Cal Newport?1
Related: It may not just be the damn phone.
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2025-11-21 02:42:00
if you try to fix too many things at once, you’ll burn out when you’re tired and drained, and you won’t be able to keep up. instead, pick one thing you really want to improve and commit to it every day for a couple of months.
keep it embarrassingly small like a 1‑minute workout, 1‑minute reading session, 1‑minute meditation, or 1‑minute study. once you feel confident that you’ve built that routine, start adding the next habit on top.
it’s easy to get frustrated when change doesn’t show up quickly. be patient. this is a marathon, not a sprint.
at least that’s how i stay motivated, and maybe it’ll work for you too.
2025-11-20 23:13:00
I've been writing on bear for 6 months now, I'd be lying if I didn't say that it has flown by.
When I initially started, I wanted to write something every single day... I was motivated and excited at the thought of writing every day to and building up an audience of wild fans who hung onto my every word.
That motivation and excitement clearly didn't stick around for very long, but something better happened for me, I realised that my expectations on consistency were due to listening to other people and their expectations of what consistency should be for everyone.
Consistency is the art of doing the same thing, over a long period of time. What it doesn't say it needs to be is how often you do that same thing on the smaller scale. For me, I realised that I only needed to be able to post once a month. That's it. I've been thankful that I've posted more than once every month but I was under no pressure to do so.
The noise around how important it is to post every day wasn't right for me because I wasn't trying to compete for attention, I have no expectations for this blog to be anything other than a hodgepodge (love that word) of different thoughts, ideas and ramblings that will probably not make any difference to anyone but me.
But that's enough.
There's no niche, no problems that I'm solving, no advice, inspiration or entertainment for others. It's all for me.
Selfish? Perhaps.
But I've been able to publish something at least once a month for the last 6 months after having no success previously.
So I'm calling that a win.
Here's to the next 6 months.
2025-11-20 22:24:00
I've always been fascinated by people who use physical notebooks to keep track of things. However, I never really tried it myself. Checking videos of other people and learning about bullet journaling is as far as I would get. Everything of what I do is digital.
20 years ago, when I started working, I did use a physical notebook to keep track of meetings and tasks. However, as more was to be shared online, I took digital meeting minutes, for convenience and something to return to quickly. I also didn't have a system for tasks, so every day, I had a huge list if things, of which I picked a few, only to return to an as big list the next day.
So when task managers emerged, I jumped on the digital bandwagon and never looked back. The same with my note-taking, I went from OneNote to Obsidian to Tana, and have stuck with this for years. I've perfected my setup which helps me keep track of everything going on. Meetings, projects, people,...
The same applies to my personal setup. I've been using task managers for everything I had to do, and when I got an interest in personal note-taking and journaling, I started with Obsidian. I still us it to this day. Although not consistently every day, requiring a catch-up from time to time. But sticking with it, I managed to have a lot of notes I can look back at. Memories, events,... that are easily accessible.
But that manual fascination has never gone away. Earlier this week, via a recommended article list from Medium, I stumbled on The only thing that stopped me from infinite scrolling, of how he fixed certain aspects of his life by using pen and paper.
This intrigued me, as part of our digital addiction comes from the fact that we use our phones for everything. And it's true. If today I would log a habit as complete, I open my phone, go to a specific app to mark the habit as done. This puts me at risk to get triggered to check out other things. Not to mention the different apps I use for different purposes. Again with the risk of getting lost. Sure, I can configure my phone as dumb one, but still, distractions are only a search or swipe away.
Another thing I noticed is that I enjoy physical writing, whether it's writing in a notebook or using an Apple Pencil on my iPad. I enjoy that feeling.
However, before completely diving in, I feel I need to assess whether it's really something for me, and not just a temporary fad. Also, to define what I want to do with it and how, as there are many methods, tools, and gadgets available.
And more importantly, I'll need to get around the FOMO that I'm currently experiencing with this transition. I've been into digital for such a long time, that it feels look losing all of it once I go manual. The question if I still should update my digital notes, resulting in extra work.
But I don't want to let it go.
So for now, I'm going with a tiny experiment, writing some work notes and task observations via an iPad, and logging some of my habits via a physical notebook. Let's see where it'll take me. Maybe in time I can add my story or wins of the day in such a notebook as well.
And maybe I'll learn to let go, that I don't have to keep everything forever.
Do you log everything manually?
Or have gone through a similar transition?
Or use a hybrid manual/digital method?
I'm all ears to hear your experiences.
2025-11-20 21:42:00
On the 30th of October, I officially finished my data protection law certificate! I'm a bit late to post this because I was so busy and still needed to wait for the actual paper to arrive plus getting a frame and all. :)
The certificate ('Diploma of Advanced Studies') is intended for 3 semesters in part-time. I finished it up in one semester with a grade average of 2,21 while continuing my other part-time degree (a Bachelor of Laws, LL.B) and full-time work.
It is quite a bit more intensive than the 2-week crash courses to be a data protection officer and I had to write 6 exams in total, but it enables me to be one plus the permission to call myself a certified consultant for data protection law. I'll have to refresh it every 4 years with a refresher course, or lose it.
While I love to write about commercial tech and social media through a privacy lens here and burn for that topic in private, I intend my career/professional focus to be about health data and AI. I already work with pharmaceutical databases in my job, and I wouldn't wanna miss that part of my work day.
My first of hopefully many pieces of paper on that wall2. Would love to do AIGP, CIPP/E, CIPM and ISO27001 Lead Implementer some time, and obviously finish my Bachelor degree and start a Master's in data protection law. This cert consisted of the first 3 modules of that Master's degree already, so I know what's ahead of me and I know I can do it. :)
Now I'm off to another MRI, because my body is being difficult. I hope to post more soon <3
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2025-11-20 15:02:26
Today, on the Transgender Day of Remembrance, I’m remembering more friends and family than ever before. I don’t mean that in a vague “all trans people are my family way”; I mean, I’ve attended more memorials in the last twelve months than ever before, for friends and family who couldn’t cope in in the UK any more.
Also today, on the Transgender Day of Remembrance, our Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) leaked their intention to ban people from single-sex spaces based on how they look.
Under the new guidance, places such as hospital wards, gyms and leisure centres will be able to question transgender women over whether they should be using single-sex services based on how they look, their behaviour or concerns raised by others.
I’m quoting directly there, but the quote is bullshit. Since the point of the “questioning” would be to find out if someone is transgender, the truth of the guidance is:
[…] will be able to question women over whether they should be using single-sex services based on how they look […]
But this interrogation that they’re planning to legalise can’t include a documentation check, because there’s no documentation that could possibly prove what they’re looking for. They’re legalising harassment based entirely on vibes.
The final code instead says it would “unlikely be proportionate or practical to ask for further evidence of a person’s sex” even if doubts were raised.
It said “there is no type of official record or document in the UK which provides reliable evidence of sex” because people can change their sex on passports and driving licences without a GRC.
And here’s the kicker. If your interrogator doesn’t believe you, they can kick you out anyway.
But it says that if there is “genuine concern about the accuracy of the response” it may be proportionate to exclude a transgender person anyway.
…though, again: this quote is bullshit. Just because the cops believe you’re trans, doesn’t make you trans. The truth is:
But it says that if there is “genuine concern about the accuracy of the response” it may be proportionate to exclude a person anyway.
And after all that, if you’re one of the Good Ones and decide to use a single-sex space of your sex-assigned-at-birth anyway, they can still kick you out.
It also states that transgender people could be barred from single-sex services even when their biological sex matches, such if a trans man […] attempted to use a women’s changing room. It says that they can be barred because they are likely to be seen by others as the opposite sex.
So, a short list of places that trans people won’t be able to use bathrooms:
Fuck you if you go to a restaurant and need to pee. They don’t want us in their restaurants.
Fuck you if you need medical attention and need to pee. They don’t want us in their hospitals.
You have to be honest with yourself--look at the legalised harassment and ban from using toilets in hospitals--and admit they want us gone.
Next year’s Transgender Day of Remembrance is going to be horrific.