2026-03-23 17:46:00

I’m sunsetting this blog for a few reasons:

• I just don’t have the time in all honestly between uni, volunteering, writing semi-professionally, and wanting to engage in all my offline hobbies I just don’t have much mental bandwidth left to update this blog.
• Bearblog loves to shout that it prefers small, personal blogs until it’s blue in the face but looking at the stats, that’s not reality. A lot of what people interacted with and engaged with were long-winded think pieces… And those take a lot energetically and emotionally to write.
• the Discover Feed is kind of a hot mess not gonna lie and trying to curate it into something I genuinely want to engage with feels almost like a full time job; a job that shouldn’t be on the onus of the user in my honest opinion. (I have nearly 500 blogs hidden for context). If that somehow changes in the future with some moderation tools integrated like the ability to filter out content we don't want to see by use of keywords and phrases, maybe I'll consider returning.
• similarly I’ve logged on a few times recently to see some sort of discourse or drama has gone down, people being intimidated off the platform because some bigger blogger has responded publicly or people feeding the trolls, and I’m just not here for all of that. I’m too old for playground antics and soap opera drama.
• on another note, no comments means that if people want to engage (whether you want to or not) they usually write their own post in response basically forcing you into a conversation you didn’t even want to be a part of. With a comment you could have hidden it to the public, deleted it, or just plain ignored it entirely; but you can’t exactly do that with someone else’s public facing blog post can you?
• anyway I’ve also gone back to journaling and physically arching my life with journals, printed photo albums and even burnt cd’s, so I just… don’t feel the need to digitally archive it all on a blog as well. I can just text my sister if I get the itch to share something with someone.

I gave it my best shot over the last few months but the gods honest truth is I just end up burnt out and resentful each time I hop back on here.

So I think for now, it’s see ya later! 👋🏻

2026-03-23 17:13:00

Yesterday's teacup still stood on my counter with a dry teabag and two teaspoons of sugar, ready to be doused in boiling water. I had forgotten all about it yesterday, in fact, I have now forgotten what I even did to forget about the tea... Oh well. There is, however, something I do remember. And that is the feeling of excitement.

I had a conversation with my sister a few months ago, asking her if she still felt excitement about things.
"What do you mean exactly?" she asked.
I told her about my struggle with it, feeling excitement.
"Do you remember the thrill you felt when you went to an amusement park on a field trip? Or perhaps when you ran across the waterpark, trying to reach the top of the stairs to the slides the fastest? When you thought about becoming an adult, studying, working and living alone in your own apartment? I remember all of them, remember the excitement I felt.
But I haven't experienced it in months."

I told her all of this and more, but with it, I also reserved the time to tell her about what I was going to do about it. I explained my plan in detail: I would commit to the things that I have found excitement or enjoyment in previously, projects that I could throw myself into, to try to reestablish a lost connection to myself and my being. So that is what I set out to do.

I practised handstands in the gym, got covered in flour while making homemade ravioli, read a book or watched a movie without looking at my phone, attended a museum event by myself, and, most recently, I moulded a small sculpture out of clay. Lacking discipline, I did not do all of these things all the time — but I was at least trying to bring those parts of myself back into my life.

Over the last couple of months, I have come to a beautiful realisation through such experiences. Where I was first worried about my lack of excitement, through thinking and reflecting, I realise that it does not necessarily have to be a bad thing, this lack of excitement. It just means that my life is being lived in the now. The acts I committed myself to, some acts of creation, some of rest, it was the intentionality behind them that kept me grounded in the present. It was never about pasta or clay — never about a specific activity. It was about me purposefully choosing what to do, and doing it.

Of course, my thoughts about the future are still present, and there is the occasional spark of enjoyment paired with anxiety, wondering what it holds. But I am not worried about lacking excitement anymore, because it is through engaging with my agency and my ability to create, through exploring and discovering what I can do, that excitement is slowly returning. Not necessarily about the future, but excitement about my life as a whole.

The crystals dissolve, the colour of the leaves slowly dissipates into the water, and I bring the cup of tea to my table. A little container of edible glitter stares at me invitingly. My daily tea is filled with glimmering, shiny specks of excitement, and I drink the concoction amicably. So now when someone asks me if I want sugar in my tea, I tell them: "No, thank you, just glitter for me".

send me an email!

2026-03-23 05:33:00

low-effort sandwiches

easy sandwiches are a godsend to that segment of the population who terminally cannot be assed, at least when it comes to meals. we salute you, earl of sandwich, or whoever should get the credit. (maybe sandwiches are one of those inevitable food universals, like dumplings.)

but what makes an ideal low-effort sandwich? my personal criteria are as follows:

1. won't take too long.
2. is hard to fuck up.
3. can be eaten open-faced if the whim strikes.
4. stays mostly intact while eating.
5. doesn't eject matter into my hands, face, or clothes at any point. (ahem.)
6. is of a reasonable height.

with these things in mind, here are my favorites. i make warnings but no apologies: the contents of this post may shock and disgust non-americans, and even many other americans. caveat lector.

cheese sandwich

• deli cheese
• kewpie mayonnaise
• salt
• optional zhuzh: black pepper, spinach leaves, coleslaw, tomato, onion, pickle relish

obviously, this can be smeared with butter and cooked in a pan, but i think non-grilled cheese sandwiches are underrated. the best cheeses here are muenster, havarti, fontina, or monterey jack; the best breads are robust and not too soft. i bias towards crusty sourdough.

the first version of this that i ate as a child was miracle whip and a kraft single on sara lee white bread. sometimes there was also a slice of bologna. i have seen it called an "80s sandwich," but there's no reason to eat it in our century other than poverty or nostalgia.

radish sandwich

• 2 or 3 red radishes, sliced thin
• butter
• salt
• optional zhuzh: black pepper, flatleaf parsley, dill, chives, microgreens, cucumber slices

when my goal is prolonging my life for another day, i seldom get too precious about food authenticity--it seems white bread or brioche are the most traditional for this ✨sandwich français,✨ but it's also good on german brown bread.¹

stronger radishes are better, of course. occasionally i'll use cream cheese instead of butter for a british tea sandwich vibe, but it's best as a thin layer, in my opinion.

onion sandwich

• small onion, sliced thin (white or yellow)
• kewpie mayonnaise
• parsley, chopped
• salt
• optional zhuzh: black pepper, scallions, chives

the original james beard recipe calls for brioche, but i think white bread is fine. brown bread and sourdough are also good choices.

this is a rare sandwich that totally holds up in the fridge for the next day. the onions mellow out and the flavors blend together.

avocado toast

• half an avocado, mashed
• dash of lime juice or vinegar
• olive oil
• salt & pepper
• optional zhuzh: egg over easy, sun-dried tomatoes, pickled red onion, feta, chèvre, sesame seeds, allium salt, red pepper flakes, chili crisp, chipotle sauce, cholula

adding an egg can strain my first and fifth criteria. i have to dirty a pan? and a spatula? but sometimes sacrifices must be made.²

for the toast, i don't think anything beats a multigrainy seedy bread.

fruit sando

• cut fruit, whatever is available
• whipped cream
• optional zhuzh: yogurt

i don't have a local plug for real fruit sandos--i don't even have a local plug for shokupan--but sometimes i want one so bad that i can be assed to cut up some fruit. a little yogurt mixed with the whipped cream adds a nice dimension. not all that nutritious, though.

peanut butter and banana sandwich

• peanut butter
• banana, sliced into 1/4" rounds
• optional zhuzh: salt, a little honey

i didn't bother converting a quarter inch to centimeters because every country that uses the metric system seems to find peanut butter disgusting.

a saltier, more "rustic" peanut butter (or almond butter) complements the smooth sweetness of the banana. i've had sunflower butter with this, but it always needs a touch more salt. honey is best used when the banana is closer to green than brown.

white bread is the usual vessel, but this is one of the few sandwiches in which i don't hate wheat bread. a sturdy multigrain bread is good here, too.

my mom's curry chicken salad sandwiches

blend together:

• 1/2 c mayonnaise of choice
• 1 tsp curry powder
• 2 TB apple cider vinegar
• salt, to taste
• garlic powder, to taste
• cayenne pepper, to taste

fold in:

• ~12 oz shredded chicken
• 1 large red apple, chopped
• 1 large stick of celery, diced
• 2 or 3 scallions, white and green parts

optional but nice:

• 1/2 c halved grapes (red or green)
• sliced almonds
• microgreens, like alfalfa sprouts
• romaine lettuce

my most caucasian trait is chicken salad enjoyment. this recipe strains my food prep time limit and my dislike for self-disemboweling sandwiches, but it keeps for a while in the fridge and makes many sandwiches. the inconvenience pays good dividends.

my mom recommends eating it on a croissant, toasted raisin bread, or a leaf of lettuce. i've learned to avoid regular untoasted sandwich bread with chicken salad because it won't provide enough structure and turns mealy after a minute. ick.

in the future, i'd like to try making it with the canned shredded jackfruit that vegans use for pulled not-pork sandwiches.

2026-03-23 04:59:30

When I was in my late teens, I considered myself an avid "reader". I put this in quotation marks, because I was reading, but with all the depth of a pool so shallow a puppy could drown in it.

I was someone who shared the sentiment "if I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read something practical". So, of course I started reading self-help books. The reasoning made sense, if you want to improve yourself, read something that's entire premise is about self-improvement, right?

I "read" a book per week, and by read it was more akin to skim reading than actually reading. Going through and trying to pick up the point quickly. I used to brag about reading a book a week, often to the amazement of my classmates. What an asshole.

This carried into my young adulthood. I had all the classics, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The One Thing, on and on and on. I quickly started to realize that once you've read one, you've basically read several. TSAoNGaF (fuck trying to write that all out again) is just college bro's version of The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins¹, and both are just dumbed-down regurgitations of stoic and Buddhist philosophy. Atomic Habits is just a newer version of The Power of Habit.

All of these books, you basically get the gist within the 1st chapter. Which makes sense, because most of these books are extrapolations from blog posts or email newsletters.

Look I get the appeal, sometimes you need someone to say things in just the right voice for it to sink into your head. Sometimes you just wanna feel like you're improving. However, what you're essentially paying for is $20 worth of filler and a blog article that got stretched to reach a word count.

Let's be honest with ourselves here, these rarely stick with us. When was the last time a self-help book TRULY changed the way you look at the world? Odds are, probably never? Out of every self-help book I've read the only one I probably remember the most of was How to Win Friends, and mostly just that one Lincoln story.

Self-Help books to me are more akin to masturbation than anything. Yeah sure, you might feel better after doing it, but what are you gaining really?

I have since rid myself of all my self-help books. I donated them to a library. However, I found that I quickly stopped reading altogether. I'm not saying everyone needs to read for leisure, but damn we can do better than self-help slopping ourselves to death.

I started with going to the source of many of these self-help titles. Philosophy. Since a lot of them seem to rip off the Stoics, I started with Marcus Aurelius, then Epictitus, then Seneca. Honestly, can't blame people for wanting the spark notes on these as they can be a bit dry. Should be no surprise I later got into Camus.

I started to get more into fiction. I started with simpler writings from IPs I enjoy like Halo: The Fall of Reach & First Strike. I probably killed about 100 pages in a single day and I loved it. Then I read some of Cormac McCarthy, starting with The Road. Then moved to something a bit tougher like William Gibson's Neuromancer. Graphic novels like Scott Pilgrim and Bone. So on.

There are 2 books that made me realize the importance of reading something of actual substance. The Lord of the Rings, and The Catcher in the Rye. I started to get more into literary analysis to try and pick apart central themes and ideas being conveyed through the works. LotR is a masterclass in descriptive scene writing that can spark a certain level of whimsy to your every day life. Anaylizing Catcher in the Rye actually helped me see some parallels I saw in myself and Holden Caulfield.

I think the reason why reading fiction, philosophy, history/biography books is so impactful is the way we have to interact with them. When reading fiction, you're trying to figure out motivations of the characters, symbolism, themes, developing your sense of empathy, etc. With philosophy you are taking ideas and pondering them in your own head and questioning yourself and the world around you. History/Biography books are probably some of the most important books you can read as you'll see the patterns in real life.

I think reading is a lot more fulfilling when we are not consuming a mindless barrage of hustle slop.

Previous |

Reply via email: [email protected]

as of writing this...

lazy sunday. It's been pretty nice out, so I spent some time with my wife and daughter outside enjoying the fresh air. Did a bit of reading, finishing up a chapter from Blood Meridian. Not sure what I'll do for the rest of the day.

2026-03-23 03:26:00

Yesterday, I finished setting up a short form feed for my blog, but a couple of things still annoyed me.

1. My status posts were going to be mixed in with my blog posts. I can separate them for public display, but, on my side, if I want to edit a blog post, I'll have to scroll through status posts, as well.

2. I can't stop status posts showing up in Bear's feed, and I don't want to clutter it up for anyone subscribed to it. (Making the posts undiscoverable only prevents them from showing up on the Most Recent page, if I remember correctly.)

Then today, I see Robert Birming posting about Micro.blog add-ons he's made for Bear, which includes a post feed. So I could have my short form posts hosted elsewhere, but still displayed here on my blog? Heck! I'd buy that for a dollar!¹

Looks like I'm off to set up a Micro.blog, then. Thank you, Robert!

UPDATE: It works! (I didn't want a reply button on the posts, so I haphazardly snipped something to do with replies from the script, and that seemed to work. lol)

UPDATE (23 Mar): Oh. It decided to stop working, sometime in the night. Not sure what made it change its mind, but I'll have a poke around. And it's back! (I didn't do anything; it just eventually loaded back up on its own.) Aaaand it's gone again. (I haven't had enough sleep or coffee to deal with this, so while the feed plays peek-a-boo, I'm off for a nap.) Okay, I woke up to it still not working for a bit, before it started working again now. I'm assuming the issue is on Micro.blog's side, so I'm just gonna monitor it and see how it goes. Hopefully it gets resolved, if it isn't already, as this really is a much easier way to post short form content.

Currently

• Listening to: My cat snoring
• Drinking: A milky tea with sugar

2026-03-23 02:09:00

A while back, I tried switching from Bear to Micro.blog. Even though I ended up going back to Bear for my everyday blogging, I kept birming.com as a Micro.blog hosted blog for shorter posts. I think it's a great combo.

I use it for sharing photos, logging books and movies, posting status updates, and other short-form content. It works really well for that, and with the $1 / month Micro.one plan, it's quite amazing how much you get.

It's also a solid platform if you want to fetch your content and display it somewhere else. With that in mind, I decided to create a separate Micro.blog Bear add-ons category. So far, these are the ones available:

• Latest post (see my footer)
• Feed (see my notes page)
• Gallery (see my photos page)
• Books (see my bookshelf)

I've also been playing around with making a postroll using the neat Micro.blog bookmarks feature, but that's still at the experiment stage right now.

If you're also using both Bear and Micro.blog, I hope you find something useful. And if you haven't tried Micro.blog yet, you might want to give it a try. It's a refreshing alternative to the usual social media platforms.

Happy blogging and microblogging.