2026-01-26 09:02:00
I recently read the wonderful "Don't Get Hung-up on Trending" by Becky. It addressed something that I've been thinking about for a while with my blog and the Discovery feed, and I wanted to add some thoughts of my own.
I mentioned in my post "On Being More Social" that I used to blog mainly with toasts disabled so my posts wouldn't show up on the Discovery feed. I did this for a couple of reasons.
First, I felt that I was writing mostly for myself, and my posts were centered on my personal life and things I enjoy. A lot of the posts I was seeing on the feed were about blogging or webweaving or tech or things like that, and I was over here writing about point-and-click adventure games and concerts I attended. I didn't think anyone on Bear would be interested in my online journal (even though I like reading about other bloggers' interests and life adventures).
Second, the Discovery feed had one of the things I was trying to get away from on social media: "likes" and the idea of "trending." I was tired of connecting my personal value with a number or with how visible I was in online spaces. I wanted a place of my own to practice web design and do the thing I love most (writing), and while I did want to meet like-minded people, I couldn't help but have a desire to hide because social media had worn me down.
I'm still not really sure how I feel about the toasts feature or having likes on blog posts in general. The Discovery feed has undoubtedly been a nice way to discover fellow bloggers whose writing I really enjoy, but on the other hand, having a like button is giving me that same niggling feeling that Twitter or Instagram did, that my worth correlates to a number ticking up.
And, to be brutally honest, I've run across some trending posts on the Discovery feed that I'd rather not have seen. I like that we have the ability to hide certain blogs, at least.
Regardless, Becky's post gave me comfort and reminded me that a like is nothing but a click of a button. What truly matters are the connections we make through being our genuine selves, and realizing that as long as we continue doing what makes us happy while keeping in mind that we are part of a community, other people will be there for it.
If you're watching what's happening in Minneapolis right now with horror and disgust, as you should be, please consider donating to one of the following organizations that are in the thick of it:
Midwest Immigration Bond Fund
National Immigration Law Center
Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota
North Star Health Collective
Leo Towing for ICE Victims
Women's Foundation of Minnesota
2026-01-26 04:46:00
I used to lurk a lot, mainly on twitch streams, I remember feeling like my comment wouldn't have any value, so why even say anything in the first place? But aside from streams with so many people that you can't read anything, the streamer can benefit from your comment, as well as you can benefit from their reaction to it (for example correcting something you said, answering a question, making a good joke about it). Surely that are a lot of trolls, ragebaiters and people who just want to bring the other one down, but just as well as someone can ruin their day, you can also brighten it up. You can say something funny or give some advice that helps them in some way, bringing more interaction towards the stream, everyone wins, or just be there, chilling, but present.
I see a reflection of that on bear. There's ragebait and bots, but there are also great posts that can actually help you in life, in the sense of reflections that you can relate to, or use it to see things more clearly, or "cozy" posts that bring a calmness to your day, like posts with nature pictures, or pictures of cats being silly and sleeping comfortably, or encouraging posts, they can all help you slow down your thoughts during a moment of stress or anxiety. There's also lessons and advice from people who have been through a bad (or good) experience or simply learned a better way to do something.
When I first started using bear I was just a lurker, I didn't think anything I could write could be like any of the above, but doing it made me feel better, brought me more mind clarity and is improving both my writing skills and creativity. It also lead to me connecting to other bloggers I like, and the interactions via email which have been recommended by a lot of bloggers do truly feel more meaningful.
So if you've been lurking, or have some draft that you're unsure of, I would appreciate if you published it, no matter if it has grammar mistakes, typos, or you feel like the post isn't "good enough", I want to read it! Even if it's just your thoughts (not even not thinking about anything is an excuse, you can put that on a post and elaborate from there). If you do, please email me the link, I would truly love to read it.
2026-01-25 23:03:48
We live in an age where everything demands a response. Immediately. Publicly. With conviction.
Silence is suspicious. Hesitation looks like weakness. And not having an opinion is almost offensive.
Which is odd, considering how many opinions we already have and how little they seem to help.
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Most of us don’t suffer from a lack of information. We suffer from an excess of reaction.
We react to news we barely understand, to people we barely know, to thoughts that appeared in our head five seconds ago and somehow already feel like our personality.
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What if the problem isn’t what we think, but how quickly we think it must be expressed?
Karl Popper once suggested that certainty is often the enemy of truth. Camus reminded us that the world is absurd enough without us trying to straighten it by force. And Jung quietly warned that what we refuse to see in ourselves has an annoying tendency to show up everywhere else.
None of them suggested yelling.
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There is a strangely radical idea making a quiet comeback: pause.
Not to withdraw from the world, but to meet it without immediately rearranging it.
To notice irritation without turning it into a post. To feel desire without mistaking it for an obligation. To encounter beauty without trying to own it. To sit with discomfort without upgrading it into outrage.
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This is not about becoming passive. It’s about becoming precise.
Reacting less does not mean caring less. Often, it means caring better.
Listening before replying. Allowing uncertainty. Accepting that the other person might be wrong — and still human.
A shockingly underused combination.
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In a culture that rewards speed, slowness looks suspicious.
In a culture that worships identity, changing your mind looks like betrayal.
But maybe maturity is simply the ability to hold an experience without immediately turning it into a statement.
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We don’t need better slogans. We need better attention.
We don’t need louder voices. We need more space between impulse and action.
And no — this will not save the world overnight. But it might prevent us from making it worse before breakfast.
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If there is a quiet form of responsibility left, it might be this:
To react a little less. To listen a little more. To take ourselves slightly less seriously without taking life any less seriously.
Which, given the current state of things, would already be a significant improvement
2026-01-25 19:37:00
Lately I’ve been experimenting with making a new ultra-minimal theme for my blog. I’ve also been doing some writing in Swedish, and played with the idea of starting a blog in Swedish.
All this seems familiar somehow. Like I’ve seen it somewhere before. Ah, right, it’s the pattern that comes right before I delete my blog.
I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve done it in the past. And not once have I been able to give a true answer to why I’ve done it. Not because I’m hiding it, but because I really don’t know.
I have answers and explanations each time, both to myself and others, but they never really feel honest, not even to myself. It’s just something I come up with. Something that could be true, something that makes sense, because a why needs a because.
I’ve been giving it a lot of thought over the last couple of days. Trying to find the real answer, and maybe this is it:
Believing and expecting blogging to be something it’s not. A substitute for something missing, or an escape from something that hasn’t been given the attention it deserves. An escape and a longing for home at the same time, in all its contradictions.
Or maybe it’s just me overanalyzing things. Again.
One positive development in the midst of it all, though, is that I haven’t hit “Delete” on this blog yet. Hooray for that!
Will it last? No idea.
2026-01-25 18:13:00
A lamp is always nice.
Hello, again. It has been a while. I haven't published anything on this blog page I have for quite a long time. I don't know exactly why and I particularly don't care to figure it out or explain. But I am back? More than ever before.
So, the plan is as follows. I will be publishing one blog post that I have written in the morning of each day, hence the name Dawn notes. I have done this before, but in paper form in my own notebook, oh and I did try to start something similar more than a year ago, with The Dawn Circuit. But that didn't go anywhere.
So, I am starting this daily section of this blog with this post. What will I write here? Depends on whether I have something to talk about, or an idea I want to share, maybe progress on some projects. I will let the writing speak for itself. But I will also keep these relatively short. I think at least.
Well, yes. But also why not now? I can decide to do anything at any time. I can start practicing whatever I want, whenever I want. And waiting for a new year is quite a long procrastination period. So, you as well! Start doing the thing you've wanted to attempt before! See where it leads you. It might suck. But from that you can learn and become better.
Sure, this can be a section. I have written a first manuscript (I think that's what you call them) of a short story, my first "serious" text. I think it turned out great, but that is me speaking, while I haven't read it through after finishing. I did share it with my girlfriend, and she will definitely give feedback. Then it is editing, and showing more people and editing some more. In parallel I want to write a few other stories, that are related to this one. The premise is really cool. I have had these dreams about a place, that I am trying to describe with the stories. Yeah, so maybe the plan is to have a collection of short stories. But first let's see if the first one is any good.
I might be right. Okay maybe this is it for the inaugural episode. I will see you tomorrow. Damn it, my tea got lukewarm.
P.S. I will probably change the look of this page soon enough, I want a more Serif font.
2026-01-25 18:00:00
“It was not Hitler, Göring, Goebbels, Himmler, or whatever the others were called, who had me dragged away and beaten. No, it was the cobbler, the neighbor, the old man, the milkman, the postman, those without form suddenly given armbands and a cap on their heads and then they were the master race.” —Karl Stojka
it's midnight and i'm not tired. i am beyond angry—i'm infuriated, down to my cells boiling in my blood. i am inconsolable, a shaking mess as i write this. i've been trying to work all day and listen to people smarter and more well-read than me, but my mind cannot focus. i don't feel any better. i have been shaking all day—all day since i found out about the killing of alex pretti, a 37-year-old ICU nurse of a VA hospital who was executed in the middle of the street helping a woman up during protests in minneapolis, minnesota.
10 shots into a man on the ground. nine went into a lifeless body.
is this the tyranny that conservatives claimed was happening for wearing a fucking mask in a time of widespread disease? is this yet another notable murder of a someone in opposition to this regime? this time, someone who had a valid concealed carry permit who was not brandishing it nor coming at officers?
what does tyranny look like to you?
it angers me that i have to analyze a graphic video, scrubbing and combing through footage, to know the truth—that i have to verify the sources with such minute detail because i'm terrified of AI-generated videos being used to propagate lies (e.g. nekima levy armstrong) of protestors.
in response to an outpouring of lies from the united states federal government, alex's parents are begging the public to get "the truth" out about their son; to spread the word of his kindness and good-heartedness. the government claims he was a "domestic terrorist." someone who worked in the ICU at the VA hospital, who spent his waking hours helping others, our veterans. do you have a licensed, legal gun on your person for your protection and attend protests to exercise your first amendment right? you could be the next "domestic terrorist," shot dead while committing the crime of helping your fellow human from falling in the snow. isn't shooting someone on-sight for having a weapon the exact example of the future conservative gun owners "warned us" happening under the "tyranny" of gun ownership regulations?
federal agents have been inching this way for months. the increased violence, the chemical warfare inflicted upon and agitation of peaceful protestors, the declaration of anyone in opposition of trump's policies to be "domestic terrorists." when dealing with narcissists, every accusation becomes an admission.
from where i'm sitting, the federal government is declaring war on the american people and openly killing us. we are allowed to observe ICE raids. we are allowed to assemble peacefully to express our dissent. it doesn't matter how much they've chipped away at the meanings of language. that is part of their strategy.
the focus on ICE is not enough; while they are actively committing crimes against american citizens and undocumented immigrants alike, it was a border patrol officer who shot alex. it's the department of homeland security—it's kristi noem, it's greg bovino, it's white supremacist stephen miller, it's donald trump. they must be removed from their posts if we want to have a functioning democracy for the generations after us. authoritarianism thrives on fear—thrives on you staying home.
the american experiment has had a wonderful run, but having too much consolidated power like the federal government currently is exerting authoritarianism and rendering it complete. we have reached the endgame, and we are watching the results unfold. this is what happens when you slowly disembowel the checks and balances in favor of a blind faith in whoever becomes president. our congress flops about, dallying in issues of the nonexistent culture war as federal agents kill americans. the courts have been rendered useless in their efforts to combat injustice, practicing theory with no enforcement. they are aiming for the heads of protestors.
can you feel your heart beating in your chest? what is it going to take?
in a game i play called civilization, casus belli is the term used for justification of war. in real life, the UN charter prohibits participating countries from engaging in war except: "As a means of defending themselves, or an ally where treaty obligations require it, against aggression." what can we do? i believe we have a few options, and it requires large numbers of people and elected officials. peaceful protests get us out of this, yes, but not without also voting, also running for office, also calling our congresspeople, also contacting our state governments, also imploring local officials, also observing—in addition to peacefully protesting. we have to show up—in numbers.
i'm personally of the opinion that state governments, through legal means, should reduce their federal tax contributions in protest. tax collection might be our only leverage before all-out violent civil war. i'd love to see the federal government operate as a loose collective of states, somewhat like the european union. it has gone too far.
i want nothing more than to return to my work, but my heart aches for alex, his family, his dog. my heart hurts for renée good, for keith porter. i can't believe there's a wikipedia page for the shootings by U.S. immigration agents. i can't believe we're tracking "deaths, detentions and deportations of American citizens in the second Trump administration," because none of this should be happening. i want this to end peacefully, but i understand why violence has been used in the past when citizens are pushed beyond their breaking point.
i hoped writing this would feel cathartic and help me release some of this energy i feel, this weight on my heart. but i'm so, so angry. i'm going to channel this into helping my neighbors, and i hope you do too.
i can't believe i have to include this, but to be clear, i unequivocally condemn all forms of political violence & believe only in nonviolent protest and democratic processes.