2026-03-12 21:00:00
Post last updated 9 hours, 21 minutes ago
CAUTION
I don't intend to have a fight over this, and I'll try to keep my ideas related to the person's text, not the person themself.
So, somewhat expected, my latest post sparked some fireworks and although I don't mind (people can disagree with or dislike what they read here), I'd like to have some clarifications regarding re-chunkofcoal's reply
Let's begin, shall we?
One of the most unsympathetic posts I've read on Bear.
I mean, there was a warning at the beginning of the post. It's fine if you disagree or dislike what I write, but I find it a bit weird to complain that after being cautioned about the content you still feel the need to complain about it, especially since I don't feel I was calling for public executions.
A headache is not worth cursing your entire existence over, or holding a gripe against "some religious people" and God. Which by the way, what do you mean by some religious people? Just be honest and say Christians.
I think I'm free to curse whatever I want, ain't I? I'll write more at the end about the victim complex Christians seem to have.
Where is your proof even that "some religious people" believe in perfect design? Or push a belief that because every human is supposedly "built perfect", that when you aren't it's immediately your own fault, even with ailments out of your own control?
I don't even know how to respond to this. I should've kept a log of every time I'd heard religious people say X or Y and link it in my post? What difference would it make, because without faith (hehe) that I really experienced it, you could've claimed even then that I just made up a bunch of stuff.
I have read online and even heard in person many outrageous (to me) things said by someone religious, or how many times they tried to shove, against my will, shit down my throat. That's why I added "some" there, to indicate that not necessarily all of them are like this. I thought it would be a truism to specially mention it in that post. If you consider yourself a good Christian, cheers to you; the post was not about you then.
Let's make this clear. Christians believe that every human is "made in God's image".
Theoretically, yes; in practice, not really, as the majority of people bend whatever religion they have to accommodate their own beliefs about the world. I like how Nietzsche put it: there was only one Christian and he died on the cross.1
Adam and Eve were the only perfect humans and they sinned, making themselves imperfect and their descendants the same. It's that simple.
I don't like to say this, but in my opinion this is a perfect example of an illogical statement, because how can you be perfect and sin?
I have to ask, why are you so quick to blame God and "religious people" when you don't even know the entirety of how your mind, body and soul work?
I think I live one of the most average lives possible: don't drink, don't smoke, do some sport every once in a while, try to do some good here and there, yadda yadda. I personally think that annoyances like the ones I was complaining about are, in part at least, due to bad luck. Shit just happens. But if there were a God, especially one in the likeness portrayed in the Bible, it would make sense (to me, again, to me) to moan about such an illogical thing: to inflict unnecessary pain or discomfort for being less stressed than normal.
I don't know where you saw that I was "blaming" religious people, though. I was making a little bit of fun about the contradictions of what some of them believe regarding perfect design and a scenario where that makes no sense.
Furthermore, I find it really funny at the conclusion of your post
Thanks, I was intentional about the post having a quasi-comedic tone.
I'd like to call bluff on that. Since you felt your judgement was pressing enough to let the world know about it. The problem was over and yet you want to whinge about it more - it's almost like you are using your own ailment as an excuse to be a dick to an entire group of people for their beliefs. Now it makes sense that you wouldn't specify which religion you were judging.
I had the impression that a blog is, or can be, akin to a journal. Again, given I don't feel I called for public executions or anything like that, it should be fine to write whatever's on my mind. Also, the last part is a bit hypocritical. Christians have long been, and in some places still are, dicks to large swaths of people, and not just by writing mildly annoying blog posts but by actively writing laws that restrict freedoms or force beliefs.
I guess you can never, ever judge a Buddhist, a Hindu, a Muslim or a Jew. Only, Only judge Christians. Don't you know, they only drink beer from Adolf Hitler's pub!!!
Many people in my family are practicing Orthodox; about 90% of Romanians declare themselves Orthodox. The majority of Europe and the Western Hemisphere has been Christian for hundreds or thousands of years. Christianity is the biggest religion on Earth, and it had an enormous influence over the past two thousand years.
Doesn't it make sense that I mostly refer to Christians? I don't personally know practicing Buddhists,2 Hindus, or Jews. I know some non-practicing Muslims. Does it matter, though? If you are really focused on the God part, my post can be equally read as an affront to Christians, Jews, and Muslims, as they all have a monotheistic religion and share many ideas.
I see this reccurrently: people in the majority, who hold most of the power, start to whine and moan about how oppressed they are the instant someone on the other side gives them even a side eye. Christians, right-wingers, white males, conservative straight people, etc. Even when you mock or attack the ideas or beliefs, not the person, they start throwing a tantrum. Why?
Christians might've been persecuted in the times of Nero, but since then they persecuted others tenfold harder and longer. Even though they have a large (and sadly larger by the year) influence on politics on both sides of the Atlantic, they still feel others are oppressing them. Same with right-wingers who believe that anything left of turbo-capitalism is Stalinism. Same with white males who think women having equal rights and treatment in society will make them the second gender. Same with straight people who think LGBTQ+ people having somewhat equal rights to them will make them homo.
I just can't comprehend being this entitled.
re-chunkofcoal - re: Perfect design my ass
You can reach out by sending me an email.
2026-03-12 20:30:00
today's realization: i don't draw enough of what i enjoy!
if you go thru any of the public platforms where i share my art, you may notice a large gap between the last time i shared an illustration and the most recent one. going thru my private sketchbook will give you the same conclusion.
over the past few years, there is a noticeable decline in the quantity of work that i finish (and share). the quality's going upward tho! which is great! but still, i'd like to draw more. at this point, i'm very envious of my 15-year-old self, who keeps finishing sketchbooks within weeks of buying them. last year's sketchbook took a year and a half to finish.
so! starting this month, i am intentionally making myself start AND finish an illustration within the day! it doesn't have to be polished (even when i want it to be) and it doesn't even have to be amazing (even when i want it to be). it just has to exist!
and to make things easier for me, i drew illustrations featuring my own original characters. somehow i keep forgetting that i love drawing my ocs, and then i act surprised when i remember. drawing what you enjoy is actually freeing??? imagine that??
this post is basically just showing them off.
my favorite trope is when one continues to look fondly at their angry partner
they don't have names yet. i just like figuring out how they'll interact with each other. i don't know anything about them aside from the idea that they're classmates during the 1960s in the philippines. (uniforms probably wouldn't look like that in the 60s; i just drew my high school uniform from memory)
one may have (accidentally) influenced the other to start smoking.
(points) this one's my favorite...
one of my reasons for focusing on strength-training was so that i can lift my partner into a princess carry. i'm not able to do that yet without breaking my back (or other parts), so these two get to do it for me.
initially, this was supposed to be their wedding. but green looks cuter on them. either way, these two are adorable! i imagine this was during a "kasalan ng bayan" (a public and free mass wedding) in their town. one of the brides threw a bouquet, and the guy caught it. his friends tease him about it, and the woman, unfazed, lifted him up.
he raised his bouquet triumphantly, and they ran out of the venue, with the guy still in her arms, laughing all the way.
see, it still surprises me how drawing these scenes and writing about it just brings out joy that i can't find anywhere else. this post is primarily a reminder for myself to keep doing what i love. i hope it encourages others to do the same for themselves.
i'm using krita, which meant that i no longer have access to my usual brushes in clip studio paint. at the same time, it means i have access to exploring different brushes from the community! here's what i used in each piece:
for the 2nd piece, i used one of the default basic brushes for coloring. both illustrations were layered with a cardboard texture from tomb of null's set.
happy making! :>
2026-03-12 06:00:00
Post last updated 13 hours, 20 minutes ago
CAUTION
The following text might be offensive to certain religious people; proceed at your own risk.
For the longest time, especially after being full-time employed, I noticed that on weekends I'd often get a headache, mostly on Saturdays. I shrugged it off as me not drinking enough water, because I usually don't, and would solve it by some ibuprofen.
My headaches are mostly mild but relatively frequent, same as my mother has them. Sometimes I'd get a worse one-not quite a migraine, but pretty bad, for example if I stayed too long with my eyes glued to a screen or slept in a weird position. Last Saturday was one of the worst ones. At first, I thought I wouldn't pill myself and would let the pain ease on its own. Bad idea, because 90% of my headaches don't go away unless I take a pill or go to sleep. Well, after some time it got to the point it was bad enough that I had to take a pill, but now I'd be fucked by this worsening headache until the pill took effect.
So, in my semi-disabled state, I went to the internet, typing into Kagi "headaches on weekends." Lo and behold, weekend headaches seem to be a thing, like you can get one because cortisol levels are lower than usual, among other things. So you get a headache because you are less stressed. Wonderful. While relieved that others have similar symptoms, I was cursing my existence that something like this can exist.
And then I remembered that some religious people think that the human body has the perfect designTM and it melted my brain that a supposedly perfect design can mean you get headaches when you are less stressed. I ain't no God, but this makes no fucking sense in Hell. My honest expression was something like this:
Anyway, in the end the pill started taking effect, and I started being less hateful towards the Universe.
You can reach out by sending me an email.
2026-03-12 05:21:00
At work, I have to use AI.
Let's not argue that "have to" can be worked around, and that no one has gotten into problems for not using it. I generally do what I am told to, I am not the type to protest.
A few days ago I have tried to pick up a personal project I started six months ago: its use-case came up again, with much more narrow scope, so it was actually achievable.
And man, was it painful.
Portion of it could be attributed to my nostalgic choice of using Sublime Text 4 instead of PyCharm. Without intellisense, I had to look up more of the Python's standard library than usual, and I have made a few syntactic mistakes I do not think I should have done.
But what was even worse, it felt really exhausting. To write out every line by hand was like trying to walk in a viscous liquid that sticks to your legs. My brain hurt.
It was not like sugar which you can fight by not buying those snacks when doing groceries. It felt like a literal withdrawl. I got nervous, my focus was gone, and so was clear thinking about what I was trying to achieve.
I am aware this was not the only thing that was different. At work, I am contributing to major projects that have had most of their architectural and technical decisions made a decade ago.
Greenfields done by myself for myself have them all unresolved, and it may contribute to that uneasy feeling.
But the fact I craved AI, not a stable project I would be improving upon, points me at the direction I have described above.
And I have got no idea what to do about it. My job is my dealer and until the whole system collapses, it will not stop inviting me to take more shots.
2026-03-12 01:03:00
As bloggers, we share a lot. The community, the creativity, the joy of writing, tinkering, and sharing our creations with the rest of the world.
Another thing many of us share is the struggle we go through every now and then. The doubts, the lack of ideas, the feeling that what we create isn’t good enough.
Personally, even if my mind tries to convince me otherwise, I think it all boils down to wanting too much, or expecting too much. Maybe it’s an existential thing. Expecting that blogging should provide something it can’t, instead of simply being satisfied with the pure joy of creating.
So when those impossible expectations aren’t fulfilled, I quit.
These days, I try to “write it off” instead. It helps, it really does. And the beauty of it is that it also helps others in similar situations.
We see that we’re not alone with our struggles and doubts. Just like shared joy is double joy, shared struggle is half the struggle. There’s healing in sharing. There’s cure in community.
With this in mind, I think “Our blogging struggles” deserves a spot on the Blog inspiration page. Sometimes the boost we need isn’t reading about others’ workflows and tools. Sometimes we simply need to know that we’re not alone with our struggles.
What are your challenges when it comes to blogging? Please share them, for yourself and others, and reach out if you want me to add your post to the list below.
Keep on blogging!
2026-03-11 23:03:50
Holy crap my screen time went from 6-8 hours down to just 2 since moving my desk upstairs! My phone is no longer my all in one entertainment system and work station and I can finally put it down and work from my computer, textbooks and written form like god intended.
It's been a very much needed breath of fresh air not staring at a black slab every day honestly and if I knew I didn't need it to participate in society, I would love to get rid of it entirely and go back to an old school Nokia just... now with 5G.
Not only do I have my hands free now but my dreams are so much more vivid and memorable, my concentration is improving, and did I mention I have both my hands back for other things like going to the gym and baking?!
Good times, let's hope it sticks!