2026-04-03 11:11:00
直到昨天我才知道，运营部三个人，我手里是三十多个产品，其他两个人手里都是十多个产品。
整个2025年，我刚刚从编剧行业转回来做老本行跨境电商，花了很大工夫去复健跨境电商的技能。并且一上来就要从0开始做三个国家的站点。
这期间甚至把自己弄崩溃逼出过抑郁症，一度自我厌弃到想要自杀。我一直以为其他两个同事也很忙，觉得人家能做到为什么我做不到，所以我一直很努力地在学习，一边学习一边在心里骂自己没用。
最后一年下来，三个国家都做到了盈利。整体每个月的利润都在稳步增长，提前完成了年目标。
——然后，在我回来一年的时间点，就是昨晚，在讨论产品线调整的时候，我才突然被告知，其他两个人其实手里的产品都没我多。我手里三十多个，而他们每个人手里其实只有十多个，甚至他们手里有些产品还是几年前公司初创的时候我自己选品然后一手做起来的爆款。
（我是公司初创的时候就在，中间离开过两年，一年做自由职业，一年做编剧，然后去年回来继续做跨境）。
所以我其实是以最薄弱的状态去迎接最难的挑战。我还是啃下来了，而且做到现在甚至也不觉得自己有多忙，甚至从不加班。我手里90%的产品都在盈利。
我真的比我想象的还要厉害。我从来没有想过自己面临着什么样的挑战，只是一直坚定地认为，既然别人能做到，我这么优秀，我没理由做不到。没做到一定是因为还不够努力。现在想想，可能就是无知所以无畏吧，因为不知道自己在做什么难度的题，所以反而没有因为恐惧而退缩。
用一个不太恰当的比喻就是，我一上来就跟队友失散了，之前的技能书也被遗忘掉了，剑盾都没有了，我痛苦地刷级造剑盾攒料理攒小药，靠着“我不能给队友拖后腿”的意志，一个人磨死了最终大boss，然后回去找到队友才发现我们此行的目标其实是刷中低等级的小首领，大boss不是我们这个等级的任务。
我真想穿到2025年的5月告诉那时候的自己这一切，告诉她，“你已经很棒了”。但我知道时间不会倒流，也无法穿越。去年的崩溃一定程度上也影响了我此后的性格，我倒没有感到遗憾，只是很庆幸当时没有真的选择自我了断。
有时候真想详细写一篇自己工作的经历，感觉真是好多可以写的哈哈。
然后重复一遍，我真的比我想象的还要厉害。
2026-04-02 19:10:00
Remnant of Spanish colonial orchard, Santa Fe NM.
I get bored often. And the latest way I considered to distract myself was to try converting popular blog posts into YouTube videos so I could monetize them.
This idea wasn't totally crazy. I produce videos for a living; rather, it's part of my job, but not all of it, so I know I could do it right. Something held me back from producing that first video, and after some sleep, I think I know what it is:
YouTube is junk food. Blog posts are wheat bread with a piece of cheese.
YouTube plays with your attention the same way junk food plays with your reward system: It gives you the flavor and sugar or salt as quickly as possible. That is, it does the work for you, with pacing and visuals, music, tone, etc. Essentially, it tells you how to respond. It's easier to consume, but harder to retain. You feel more engaged in the moment, but you remember less when that moment has passed. And, most critically, a YouTube video is engineered to flow into the next video, to pitch the next idea, to keep stimulating that novelty response. Its goal is to keep you there.
Reading a blog post (and maybe looking at an accompanying image) is fundamentally different. It requires your active participation. You control the pace. You pause and think. You bring your imagination to fill the gaps, and have new thoughts. You're doing the processing, not the medium. And when you're done reading a post, you are not immediately pitched a new one. You are not brought another slice of pie you didn't ask for. You are not rushed into doing, or thinking, anything.
Writing inherently demands intelligence from the reader. Video doesn't.
Could it? Sure. There's a difference between a 90-minute Frontline documentary and a 9-minute video of young women pole vaulting. And, of course, some writing is crap... but the quality ratio still skews toward reading over watching.
This blog post with a photograph will never reach the number of people a YouTube video can, but it can leave a deeper mark on those of you it does reach.
And so... idea #12,468 to occupy my mind when my job is both depressing and boring, DELETED.
2026-04-02 15:32:00
I was being on the Discover page until I discovered Classidential's Can I Be? and that made me stop for a moment. What would Shakespeare say about this? Of course, "to be or not to be." So poetic, am I right?
As the number one Trinitarian Universalist and feminist on Bearblog, I have to wonder: Would I be let to be if Classidential was in charge of moderating the feed? Based on their self-dubbed infamous post, I would not be. I am a danger to said civilization with my vicious, savage lifestyle of femme-exclusive polyamory.
So can Classidential be? I don't know, depends on whether they commit to letting others be from their own vicious rhetoric.
Triple Blessings!
2026-04-02 05:58:00
Due to the recent incursion in our space - by which I mean a known bigot from Turning Point USA became a host of RPG Blog Carnival this month -we'd like to counter this by inviting you to participate in Gay Beholder Blog Fiesta - bandwagon type event in which we all share our most queer RPG (or not, who cares?) creations until the end of April.
Just post a thing on your blog or website and tell others about it! At the end of the month someone in the community will gather all the posts and create a huge roundup of them all so we can reach each other!
Just link your stuff and tag it #GayBeholderBlogFiesta on Mastodon at dice.camp or at tabletop.social or on Discord at rainbow OSR and at NSR Cauldron. Let it spread to ther communities too!
Trans rights are human rights and free Palestine!
2026-04-01 23:19:00
I love the Bear Blog discover page! But if you don't visit it every day you can miss things. And if you visit it too much you can lose track of what you've read.
So I built Bear Roll, a daily chronological view of the top posts from Bear Blog's discover feed.
With permission from Herman it regularly runs a script that grabs the first 5 pages of discover (100 posts). This means it doesn't contain all posts, just the ones that reach the first 5 pages of discover. The source code, data, and deployments are on GitHub if you're curious.
If you have any questions or requests, please email me at [email protected]
2026-04-01 21:26:00
It's been a fun ride, but every good thing must come to an end. I've decided to step away from blogging to focus on something more important, myself.
I've had fun interacting with you all, rhetorically T-bagging rightoids with their inflated sense of importance, and writing articles that mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.
I can hear the haters cheering, let them have their fun. They don't get to experience joy very often.
I will also be deleting any and all traces of this blog. Nothing is permanent, and neither is this. So, if you wanna save my posts for some reason, you have 24 hours.
You may have also heard that I'm stepping away from the Gazette too. I know you're all crushed hearing this despite that I hadn't written an article for it in months.
I wish it didn't have to be this way, but with work, school, my marriage crumbling, and my child leaving for milk and cigarettes, it's time to just focus on myself for a while.
So, this is goodbye. Thnks fr th Mmrs.
In case you haven't figured it out by now... check the upload date.
That's right, bitch...
Reply via email: [email protected]
