2025-10-09 03:31:39
By default, Bill Burr exists in a state of his ass being chapped, but clearly it's been feeling more chapped than usual. The comedian has continued to address his decision to perform at the Riyadh Comedy Festival, but he still can't settle on which lazy excuse he wants to employ.
Last week, Burr recapped his trip to the festival and attempted to explain his decision to take money from the Saudi government. Part of the explanation was that the experience made him less racist. "My whole fuckin' idea of Saudi Arabia is what I've seen on the news," he said on his podcast. "I literally think I'm gonna fuckin' land and everyone's gonna be screaming 'Death to America,' and they're gonna have fuckin' machetes and want to chop my head off, right? Because this is what I've been fed about that part of the world, right?"
2025-10-09 01:11:40
It felt impossible, after fine margins decided the first two games of their ALDS, that the Seattle Mariners would be capable of winning a game comfortably, and yet here we are. They weathered Tarik Skubal while in Seattle, traveled to Detroit for a game that got just weird enough—thanks to a rain delay that pushed the start time back three hours and the channel to FS2—and won Tuesday's Game 3, 8-4 at that.
There's a temptation to hedge, or find some new totemic representation of what is making this team win in the playoffs, or to try very, very hard not to jinx anything. But for all the Etsy witches hard at work in their labs, perhaps the most magical sensation in the world is the Mariners winning not because of charming, random bullshit, but because the team is legitimately performing well. Expecting offensive listlessness from this team is now dated—per park-adjusted hitting stats, the Mariners were the third-best offense in baseball this year—and just being able to write out that sentence evokes a "Can't believe this is my life" sentiment. Watch three home runs off of three separate Tigers pitchers, and, yeah, October is truly for the big boys.
2025-10-08 22:59:44
Welcome back to The Not-So-Great Defector Bake Off, where Kelsey and Chris attempt to complete the technical challenges from the newest season of The Great British Bake Off in their own home kitchens, with the same time parameters as the professional-grade bakers competing on the show.
2025-10-08 22:10:48
Big boys mashing taters: It's what we all want to see. That's why we're proud to bring you a special playoff edition of Big Boy Watch, highlighting the beefers, hulks, and galoots from around the league. Philadelphia's burly lads aren't bashing, and it's causing a civic crisis. Milwaukee-Chicago is a fairly boring series because of—as experts will tell you—a distinct dearth of large fellas. Cal Raleigh, he of the ass, went yard, and the Mariners are on the verge of the ALCS. Coincidence? The ass thinks not.
But two of the Biggest Boys were in the Bronx Tuesday night, with the Blue Jays looking to close out a three-game sweep of the Yankees. They both put on a big show, as New York would stave off elimination for a day thanks to one of the least likely home run swings you'll ever see.
2025-10-08 21:02:28
It's not the sort of career-capping achievement anyone had in mind, but Bill Belichick really has done something amazing at North Carolina. He has somehow managed to make his job, which was supposed to be coaching the school's football team but quickly revealed itself as something more like turning the Tar Heels into a version of the Carolina Panthers that everyone can feel even more embarrassed by, less and less tenable with each passing week. The signs that this might wind up embarrassing for all involved were early and public, but the speed with which that has proved out is astonishing all the same. It has reached the point where, with an epic Week 7 battle against Bye staring Bill and his boys in the face, folks are lining up to earhole Belichick on the one thing on which he has always previously been bulletproof.
That would be the football itself. Belichick was, to say the least, never one to rely on his boyish charm, but at the moment that’s about all he has left, in that "I dare you to find it" way.
2025-10-08 04:36:09
The Miami-Dade Circuit Court clerk released on Tuesday a copy of the latest petition for divorce from the estranged wife of Miami Dolphins receiver Tyreek Hill. In the document, Lakeeta Vaccaro described in detail how, over the course of their marriage, Hill would violently threaten her and shove her to the ground; once kicked her…
