2026-04-19 04:16:28
I didn't sleep that well last night, but eventually fell into a slumber that felt renewing in the early hours of pre-dawn. I was kept awake (and has been the case for the better part of the past few months) with thoughts regarding my general purpose in life, this world, everything. I love being here in Richmond, and have made some really wonderful friendships, gained a lot of professional experience, but I still don't feel at home here. I'm constantly feeling homesick for New England (as I've written vented about here many times).
When I feel like that, homesick and lonely, and aimless, I try to remember small rituals. These small rituals remind me who I am. Things like sitting in my favorite chair, positioned away from all electronics, on a weekend morning, reading escapist fiction (currently the Outlander series, much different than the TV series too, read them!) and drinking my morning coffee. Typing on my typewriter, record shopping, getting a nice haircut at a barber who gives you a beer and chats with you the whole time. These are all things I love that I can easily forget to keep up with, instead entering into a seemingly endless spiral of anxiety.
Its so easy to fall out of these small rituals. Its easy to get sucked into the mundane ritual of going to work, coming home from work, and doing this over and over, while the turntable collects dust, my bookmark stays on the same page, and my morning coffee makes it to a travel mug before the favorite ceramic Cafe Du Monde mug I've been using for decades.
I'm looking forward to the rain we're supposed to have tomorrow too. We've been in a dreadful heatwave the past week and it saps all the energy out of me. It'll be nice once things cool down.
This post is a reminder to myself to stay true to all the small rituals that keep me feeling me, and when I'm not feeling good, make a list of all the things I haven't done. If I'm feeling anxious, or depressed, and I find that I haven't listened to music, or played guitar, or read for hours, then I know why I'm feeling bad.
2026-04-19 03:24:00
To premise this, and what started this; I got laser on my wiener, balls and butthole a little while back.
Never have I known such smoothness.
It was beautiful.
The first shower was almost pornographic.
The first poop only took 2 or 3 wipes.
But I needed a way to get my balls not to stick to my legs. So I bought a thong and a jockstrap.
The thong was comfortable, but I looked like a jackass wearing it. I am not an underwear model, but a normal man. My profile was as if an uncooked roll of biscuit-dough was wearing a thong.
The jock is great, and keeps everything from sticking. After getting used to it, I have an appreciation for these things now.
It also leaves my whole ass exposed to the elements, Mike Tyson style.
Not a fart is silenced; nor a piss-drop uncollected.
Honestly, it makes me feel a bit more confident with the way I look. Even after giving up on laser and growing my hair back, the jock keeps everything in check; like a guardian angel cupping my balls, and scooping my butt cheeks.
Thanks, strangely-fetishy yet utilitarian underwear.
I've been running the D&D campaign "Curse of Strahd" for around 4 months now. This is my first serious time DM-ing for a long term campaign, so I've learned a lot along the way.
Context: Strahd is a vampire, he rules the land that the story takes place, and lives in a big ol' castle. Everything is gloomy/bloodborne-esq., and I have Strahd act like a arrogant chud to encourage player hatred of him.
We have a party of 6 people who all gather on discord. I don't do a lot of prep for visuals, like minis and maps, so the majority of the campaign has been theater of the mind.
Besides making sure everyone has their turn in the spotlight, and preparing some semblance of encounters for the week, it's fairly easy to DM. Though, I kind of dislike the theme of Curse of Strahd, because so it's dark and gritty.
Notable player moments:
I've done a few one-shots as well. I much prefer doing a homebrew campaign because of the dumb horseshit I can put in for no reason. It was a good way of recognizing what I need to do in my main campaign to maintain novelty.
Also rolling for dick length was cool. Everyone rolled way above average wieners. Smallest dick so far was a 5-incher on a priest NPC.
Largest dicks are Strahd (nat 20-incher), and a player (19-incher).
2026-04-19 03:06:55
It's really just been 4 years of "you're going to lose your job" "have fun starving" "you're obsolete" "you're gonna die if you don't buy into it" Maybe it's because I'm new to the adult world, but it's the first time I see something pushed so hard with basically no >prestence of goodwill, it's just threats.
a comment* on the tech report video.
this is so true! the discourse is so hostile, nothing about AI development has been positive. the AI itself can be useful -- i am talking about its presentation. in my company, people are fearing being left out. we are in a collective abusive relationship with sam altman and dario that we (esp if you work in tech) cannot escape.
why are the tech ceo's fear monger so much? is it because they have not, in 2026, still defined what an AGI even is? you do not fear monger if you are offering a product that will improve people's lifes.
i am so turned off by their hostility and i think this is an illuminating insight into the group psychosis that we are now in. dude.
i do not mention the person's username on purpose to preserve anonymity. this is how i would have wanted my anon comment on a public forum to be handled.
2026-04-19 00:16:00
today at the library, a man was wearing my hat. i should clarify: he wasnt wearing the same hat as me; he was wearing The same hat, as in, my hat - a hat i had lost three years ago. the hat was a blue and red hat from the 1980s, a hat they sometimes call "a cap", and on the front of the hat was a german word, the german word being "Budweizer", which in english translates to mean "tub of wheat", and the hat, i always wore the hat because it suited the shape of my head, it still would suit it today, and i saw that my hat was still encrusted with the same white crystals, crystals of ocean spray, spray from the time i slept on the beach pontoon, the time i woke wet and red raw, salt all over my hat, and so it was clear that this man was not only a thief, he was also a slouch, a slouch too lazy to wash the salt off my hat, and so it was clear even more, this man was not only a slouch in hat keeping, he was a slouch in all areas of life, for if i were to describe the man in one word, i would say "unkempt", not just his clothes and beard but even the newspaper he was reading, it looked as if it he had found it in a puddle of road water and dried it on the roof of his shack, and then to describe the man in another word, i'd describe im as "old", he looked about 90 with a patchy white beard that looked as if pecked by birds, and the man, he looked so old and unkempt that i started to doubt my urge to go over and take my hat back, and just as i was coming to the decision that i had every right to so so, the man looked up and met my eye, and without even meaning to, i gave him a sharp look with the eyebrows as if to say "enjoying my fuckin hat?" and the man, he instantly looked down as if sad or ashamed, i don't know what, his bottom lip was shaking, and all i knew was that i had no desire to reclaim my hat any more. when i got home, i had the sudden worry: what if it wasnt my hat. i went through all fourteen of my bedroom drawers and then looked under my bed, and there covered in dust, was my hat, still with the same stains of salt. i couldnt come to any conclusion as to why it was here, but also, there. i just knew i had to change my lifestyle. i changed the sheets and washed every dish lying round in my room and put on a load of laundry, throwing in the hat.
2026-04-18 23:52:39
I know it’s not just me feeling tired and overwhelmed by the internet these days. Proof is in the small rise of people going analog. I think a lot of people are realizing how much mental bandwidth being constantly online is making us.
I’m not any different. I managed to lessen my Instagram and Facebook usage last year but what I failed to realize is, I just substituted it with more Reddit and Youtube. I’m tired of it. The algorithm doesn’t give you anymore random suggestions so it made me stuck in the same loop and ideas over and over again. It’s absolutely maddening. Same clickbait titles, same trends, same few opinions. Ugh.
So I thought I’d start listening to podcasts instead. Not the Youtube ones but actual podcasts you can listen to on any app you choose. That became exhausting too. Now I’m subbed to hundreds of them, in different topics, but I’m overwhelmed picking what to listen to. Why did I follow tons of them, you ask? Because it drove me crazy listening to one singular podcast from beginning to end. On its own, it kind of becomes the circularity of youtube/social media all over again where you’re only exposed to one opinion (the hosts). So I look for others. But then their ideas mostly stay similar too, maybe affected by trends in other social medias. So I add more and more and more until it becomes just a huge list that I now have to manage.
This is probably on me too, maybe I’m just approaching it all wrong. But I think overall I’m just burnt out from the information overload and having to filter out the bullshit from the real. So starting last week, I’ve made it a point to listen to my local radio stations in the morning. I get all the good and bad news happening in my city and surrounding areas, and surprisingly most of them are uplifting stories! New non-profit programs, people winning local contests, small businesses advertising their products. It’s been very very nice. Then when I’m ready to go I just turn it off and that’s it.
I miss the transient nature of media. Not having access to the information anymore makes me engage with it more actively. I found myself journaling about the news I heard on the radio and this makes it stick to my brain more. Guess I’m an old lady now. I finally understand why my grandparents loved the radio over even the TV, but especially in the mornings. Because I don’t need to know all the news in the world immediately. It’ll get to me when it gets to me.
2026-04-18 23:45:00
I just read The greatest breakfast food in existence and emailed the author this photo below. I thought it could be nice to share with anyone who enjoys nice eggs, so here it is.
