2026-04-19 22:22:00
I’m new to blogging, so I was a little shocked to see one of my recent posts about eggs appear on the Trending page of the Discovery feed.
Not only that, but I got a handful of wonderful email replies from people all over the world sharing their experiences with eggs for breakfast. One of them even turned it into his own post and made it on the Trending page too!
One thing I’ve learned from this experience is the benefits of friction in online communication. If it’s costless to interact, there is no bar for quality or intention.
Take a look at the comments section on any social media site. What you see:
One approach to combatting these behaviors is charging $$ to interact. Many writers on Substack paywall their comments section. Some big accounts on X actually paywall their replies as well.
While it’s effective, it feels against the spirit of the Internet to charge a toll on participation.
But there’s good news. Turns out you don’t have to charge money. You just have to make people fight through a little bit of friction.
One example: A well-known public intellectual was asked how he was able to get protesters to stop showing up at his talks and disrupting his events. He chuckled and said he simply shifted to hosting his events in the morning. His protesters weren’t willing to endure the small cost of just waking up early to disrupt his talks!
It’s the same on this blog. With no comments section, any reader has to take a couple extra steps to participate. They had to open their email client, enter my address, write a note, and send it to me privately.
The results are terrific. I’ve received only thoughtful, friendly correspondence with no performance and no malicious intent.
2026-04-19 15:05:35
It is Saturday night. Technically, it's Sunday morning. Houston, for once, seems quiet.
I was delaying sleep after a night of intoxicating substances when I felt like finding some soundscapes to listen to. I happened to find one I used to enjoy before I realized how many of these videos across YouTube were AI generated. I was pleasantly surprised to find a video of the content creator on camera, showing his work process, including his keyboard and software. I suppose that also could have been faked, but it seemed real enough to where I felt I could indulge myself again.
And this got me thinking about Bear Blog. I fired up my blog on a whim last October. I had a story I wanted to tell, and just needed some where to throw it out there so that maybe someone would catch it, and we would share a moment of connection out there in the increasingly lonely internet. Since then, my mood has generally improved. I have an outlet for my thoughts and for all the writing ideas I have.
Rather than doomscrolling when I am bored, I have been making an effort to read more intentionally. This includes my copies of Texas Observer or National Geographic I get from the library and the Discovery page here on Bear. I almost never comment on anything, but I enjoy just picking a few by title, and then closing my eyes and picking some at random. Sometimes I find something enlightening. Sometimes I learn about a person's day. Sometimes I have no idea what I am reading.
Either way I always come away feeling better. It is nice to know I am not alone out here in the darkness.
2026-04-19 07:16:52
Stormy weather, cold weather, and hot-humid weather are all things that need to be considered when living the van life.
Over the years I’ve considered that I don’t like storms.
I can do cold (freezing) weather but I’d rather not.
As for extreme hot-humid weather, with no AC it can become a life threatening issue (only took once to learn that lesson).
I’ve had my share of tornados, flash floods, tropical storms, and more. But the latest one happened on April 17 in my hometown of Lena Illinois - where some of my family lives and where I stay at one of the area campgrounds over the summer.
I was supposed to check in to the campground on April 17. But it was going to be a cold weekend so I changed my check-in day to Monday (April 20).
My options were to stay south until Monday or use my moldy hotel rewards and book a hotel near Lena for the weekend.
The hotel had a room available so I booked it.
I had time to spare before checking in to the hotel, so I went to see Auntie M.
I also unloaded my food at her house because I didn’t want it to freeze sitting in the van over the weekend. It’s easier to take it to her house than to the hotel. Auntie M doesn’t require me to have it all packed up and out by an 11am check-out time. I can get it when I’m ready 😁
Barely half an hour later, I felt a calm but persistent urge to leave and get back to Freeport (a 20-25 minute drive).
Before leaving Lena, I stopped at Casey’s to fill Bella up with gas.
Bella was thirsty! $76.83 later, I was heading to Freeport.
In the distance behind me, the skies were gloomy. Ahead of me, the sun was out and skies were blue.
It took a while to check in because the lady checking me in was confused on what day it was. Then I started to get confused, wondering if I’m there on the wrong day. Thankfully someone stepped in to straighten us out!
Not having packed a bag ahead of time, I gathered up what I thought I needed, tossed it into the collapsible wagon, and headed to my room.
I dropped my things off in my hotel room. I was hungry and planned on going somewhere to grab a bite to eat. But the text messages and phone calls started flooding in.
At 3:46pm, my brother sent me a video of the view from his place in Lena. It was raining hard with sheets of rain rolling across the screen in waves.
When I look out my Freeport hotel window, the sidewalks are bone dry. It’s gloomy over yonder but blue above. Freeport was on the edge of a storm and I hoped it just passed us by.
We continue texting back and forth as the storm continued. My brother doesn’t text or call about minor things so I knew it was important to listen.
At 3:58pm, Auntie M’s neighbor calls to ask if I’m ok (they thought I was at the campground). She said she thinks they had a tornado and Auntie M’s front door just blew off.
I called Auntie M but it just went to voicemail. The neighbors went over to check on her.
At 3:59pm, my brother sent me a video of the huge hail coming down.
Once it stopped hailing, he sent a picture of the hail next to his shoe to show the size.
I don’t remember his shoe size but, when he was younger, my Mom bought him new shoes and told him they were banana boats. He went to school and proudly told everyone about his new “banana boats”. Funny how a simple picture brings back memories.
At 4:12pm, he sent me a video of the fresh aftermath as he walked down his street. There were trees and branches down and debris hanging in trees.
I don’t remember when it started but it only rained at the hotel.
It must have rained pretty hard because it actually cleaned the bug guts off the windshield of the van. I haven’t seen it that clean in a while.
The preliminary report lists this as a high-end EF-2 tornado. I watched it from Freeport through my brother’s videos (and what people later posted on Facebook).
In less than 30 minutes time, parts of Lena were completely destroyed. Debris everywhere, houses with no roofs, houses missing a wall or more, and spots where a house once stood. I don’t think recovery efforts are completed yet but, per the latest report, there were no serious injuries or deaths.
The power is still out for those I’ve talked to and, I assume, most everyone else. Some estimates say power is to be restored by tonight.
I called the campground and they are up and running. They still have no power but expect it to be restored by tomorrow.
I still can’t call Auntie M. It keeps going to voicemail. She only has a landline but I can call her neighbors and her Caregiver was able to get there today.
There’s more I’ll need to do for Auntie M and I’ll figure it out as I go.
I can’t stop thinking about that calm little nudge to leave Lena early. Nor can I stop thinking about the texts and phone calls from family and friends asking if I’m ok (because they thought I was at the campground) and from those who needed to tell someone what they just lived through.
It’s a lot to take in. More will unfold in the coming days…
Connie 🌼
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2026-04-19 04:16:28
I didn't sleep that well last night, but eventually fell into a slumber that felt renewing in the early hours of pre-dawn. I was kept awake (and has been the case for the better part of the past few months) with thoughts regarding my general purpose in life, this world, everything. I love being here in Richmond, and have made some really wonderful friendships, gained a lot of professional experience, but I still don't feel at home here. I'm constantly feeling homesick for New England (as I've written vented about here many times).
When I feel like that, homesick and lonely, and aimless, I try to remember small rituals. These small rituals remind me who I am. Things like sitting in my favorite chair, positioned away from all electronics, on a weekend morning, reading escapist fiction (currently the Outlander series, much different than the TV series too, read them!) and drinking my morning coffee. Typing on my typewriter, record shopping, getting a nice haircut at a barber who gives you a beer and chats with you the whole time. These are all things I love that I can easily forget to keep up with, instead entering into a seemingly endless spiral of anxiety.
Its so easy to fall out of these small rituals. Its easy to get sucked into the mundane ritual of going to work, coming home from work, and doing this over and over, while the turntable collects dust, my bookmark stays on the same page, and my morning coffee makes it to a travel mug before the favorite ceramic Cafe Du Monde mug I've been using for decades.
I'm looking forward to the rain we're supposed to have tomorrow too. We've been in a dreadful heatwave the past week and it saps all the energy out of me. It'll be nice once things cool down.
This post is a reminder to myself to stay true to all the small rituals that keep me feeling me, and when I'm not feeling good, make a list of all the things I haven't done. If I'm feeling anxious, or depressed, and I find that I haven't listened to music, or played guitar, or read for hours, then I know why I'm feeling bad.
2026-04-19 03:24:00
To premise this, and what started this; I got laser on my wiener, balls and butthole a little while back.
Never have I known such smoothness.
It was beautiful.
The first shower was almost pornographic.
The first poop only took 2 or 3 wipes.
But I needed a way to get my balls not to stick to my legs. So I bought a thong and a jockstrap.
The thong was comfortable, but I looked like a jackass wearing it. I am not an underwear model, but a normal man. My profile was as if an uncooked roll of biscuit-dough was wearing a thong.
The jock is great, and keeps everything from sticking. After getting used to it, I have an appreciation for these things now.
It also leaves my whole ass exposed to the elements, Mike Tyson style.
Not a fart is silenced; nor a piss-drop uncollected.
Honestly, it makes me feel a bit more confident with the way I look. Even after giving up on laser and growing my hair back, the jock keeps everything in check; like a guardian angel cupping my balls, and scooping my butt cheeks.
Thanks, strangely-fetishy yet utilitarian underwear.
I've been running the D&D campaign "Curse of Strahd" for around 4 months now. This is my first serious time DM-ing for a long term campaign, so I've learned a lot along the way.
Context: Strahd is a vampire, he rules the land that the story takes place, and lives in a big ol' castle. Everything is gloomy/bloodborne-esq., and I have Strahd act like a arrogant chud to encourage player hatred of him.
We have a party of 6 people who all gather on discord. I don't do a lot of prep for visuals, like minis and maps, so the majority of the campaign has been theater of the mind.
Besides making sure everyone has their turn in the spotlight, and preparing some semblance of encounters for the week, it's fairly easy to DM. Though, I kind of dislike the theme of Curse of Strahd, because so it's dark and gritty.
Notable player moments:
I've done a few one-shots as well. I much prefer doing a homebrew campaign because of the dumb horseshit I can put in for no reason. It was a good way of recognizing what I need to do in my main campaign to maintain novelty.
Also rolling for dick length was cool. Everyone rolled way above average wieners. Smallest dick so far was a 5-incher on a priest NPC.
Largest dicks are Strahd (nat 20-incher), and a player (19-incher).
2026-04-19 03:06:55
It's really just been 4 years of "you're going to lose your job" "have fun starving" "you're obsolete" "you're gonna die if you don't buy into it" Maybe it's because I'm new to the adult world, but it's the first time I see something pushed so hard with basically no >prestence of goodwill, it's just threats.
a comment* on the tech report video.
this is so true! the discourse is so hostile, nothing about AI development has been positive. the AI itself can be useful -- i am talking about its presentation. in my company, people are fearing being left out. we are in a collective abusive relationship with sam altman and dario that we (esp if you work in tech) cannot escape.
why are the tech ceo's fear monger so much? is it because they have not, in 2026, still defined what an AGI even is? you do not fear monger if you are offering a product that will improve people's lifes.
i am so turned off by their hostility and i think this is an illuminating insight into the group psychosis that we are now in. dude.
i do not mention the person's username on purpose to preserve anonymity. this is how i would have wanted my anon comment on a public forum to be handled.