2025-12-24 20:52:00
Almost 2 years, I have deleted all my other accounts and have almost completely stopped using any social media, except for X.
With X, it is truly a platform unlike any other.
Talented, energetic, outstanding, and fascinating people gather here in dense concentration.
They share their lives, work, thoughts, memories, perspectives, and journeys, frequently and relentlessly.
The individuals having the greatest impact, wielding the most influence, and pushing humanity forward are often on X.
They debate, they nitpick, they argue fiercely (sometimes "fight"), they create historic moments, and they grow together.
All of them,
Directly, indirectly, loudly, and even silently as quiet observers.
With Grok, the platform resonates even more powerfully.
I use Grok far more often than I ever imagined I would. Whenever I come across an interesting post, I instinctively turn to Grok to expand it.
Cultural differences?
Language barriers?
Not fully understanding the issue?
Missing the bigger picture?
Context?
Fake news?
Is it real?
What’s the deeper meaning?
What surrounds it?
What’s the underlying foundation?
Everything, around a topic, a post, a debate, an event, a milestone,...
Grok expands it all, weaving in related trends, general news, and diverse angles to create a surprisingly rich and addictive loop of discovery.
Through this X+Grok loop, I stay endlessly curious, like a child, constantly asking questions, thinking deeply, and learning more things that I previously didn’t even know I didn’t know.
That is something no other platform can offer right now.
X and Grok are two steps ahead, and they’ve always stayed two steps ahead.
I hope this remains true for many decades to come.
I offer my deepest thanks, and my deepest appreciation.
It’s truly fortunate that Elon Musk acquired it more than three years ago.
I love X, and I love Grok.
User since 2015, currently have 1 follower (the counter is still wrong even after I removed all followers)
2025-12-24 09:54:00
I was recently recommended a YouTube video with the following title:
Only a slave quantifies its existence through productivity
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I grew up in the San Jose Bay Area. As of writing this, our company just graduated from the YC Fall 2025 batch. I'm not new to hustle-culture. I'm only where I am right now out of grit and the effort I invested into the things I loved in high school and college. Recently however, as a founder, I've become more attuned to Twitter (X) and LinkedIn, keeping up with the vibes.
There's a massive amount of hustle-culture being pushed on my timeline.
Every machine serves a purpose. People need purpose. The temptation to become the machine is higher than ever. The promise of the machine is alluring. If I can just keep chugging forward, I will end up somewhere that is not here. If I can turn myself into a mechanism that takes input and consistently works towards some goal, I will make it.
I believe in hard work, but I think hustle-culture and the vision being pushed on my timeline is a corrupted one. It's engineered for engagement, optimized by millions competing with one another with just one goal: to capture your attention.
You're not working hard enough. You need to wake up at 5am. You need to be the first to arrive and the last to leave.
This messaging works. Look at me. I feel the need to write a post about it. But it is completely wrong.
Hustle-culture optimizes for work input because it's sexy. It's easy to post the inputs. It's hard to face the output.
The truth is you don't have to become the machine in order to succeed. The machine can't adapt. It can't learn the rules of the game. It is deterministic, set in place, chugging along at a linear pace.
Instead, aim to be nimble. Adapt quick. Define your goal but don't let it become your purpose. Your purpose is sacred; only you truly understand it. Do what you need to do in order to achieve your goals. Don't optimize for sweat. Try to find the most rewarding solution. Optimize for what matters: speed, efficiency, or quality—whatever it may be.
You're not a machine. You're a person. Play to your strengths. Be sharp and strategic like a scalpel, not blunt like a mallet. Stop fetishizing the grind. Dream bigger.
You aren't a stupid blunt tool. Stop acting like one.
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2025-12-24 00:45:00
Here in Sweden, we celebrate Christmas tomorrow. I’ve been busy preparing for that. Not with cooking or buying gifts, but by creating a Christmas theme for anyone who wants to spice up their blog for a day or two.
I made it as an all-in-one, extra-everything add-on for the Bearming theme. A lot of it works nicely with other themes too. It includes falling snow, a sparkling title, glowing links, a present upvote button, a light strip, and a bunch of other small festive touches.
Last Christmas, I gave you my data
The very next day, ads came to stay
This year, no cookies, no fear
It’s a joy to share, I’m using Bear
I also made a Bearming color palette to go with the add-on, just to give your theme a little Christmas vibe. If you’re curious about how the different elements look, check out the style guide. Or you can simply grab the gear and get started:
The jingle cursor trail needs a small script. Just copy and paste it into the header or footer directive in your Bear settings:
<script>
(function () {
const reduceMotion = window.matchMedia("(prefers-reduced-motion: reduce)");
if (reduceMotion.matches) return;
const darkMQ = window.matchMedia("(prefers-color-scheme: dark)");
const isDark = () => darkMQ.matches;
const EMOJIS = ["✨", "⭐️"];
let lastSpark = 0;
function spawnSparkle(x, y) {
const s = document.createElement("span");
s.className = "bearry-sparkle is-on";
s.textContent = EMOJIS[(Math.random() * EMOJIS.length) | 0];
const scale = 0.9 + Math.random() * 0.2;
s.style.transform = `translate(-50%, -50%) scale(${scale})`;
s.style.left = x + "px";
s.style.top = y + "px";
s.style.opacity = isDark() ? "0.85" : "0.5";
document.body.appendChild(s);
setTimeout(() => s.remove(), 800);
}
function onMouseMove(e) {
const now = performance.now();
if (now - lastSpark < 55) return;
lastSpark = now;
spawnSparkle(e.clientX, e.clientY);
}
window.addEventListener("mousemove", onMouseMove);
})();
</script>
Happy blogging, and Merry Christmas! 🎅
2025-12-24 00:43:00
the bathroom sink collapsed. coming home from the gym, late night—9ish on a thursday. tired but was quite in awe of the view, the image took awhile to register. the white washbasin flipped upside down, all the sinktop clutter is now floor clutter. i found that the cheap faux marble top was heavy like the real thing; the extended backsplash remained intact though. some glass shards from the diffuser scattered across the blue tiles, the blue bathroom smelt real good since.
around midnight, the rest of the backsplash crashed down on the kmart plastic shelf organiser, knocked down and cracked. more clutter. found some face mask that was never used.
it has been a couple of months now since i’ve started at this new job. a menial one just like the one before.
but i quite like menial jobs. i clock in, i clock out. that's it. it doesn't follow me home or stay on my mind except maybe the tetris effect of it all[and i do get them quite a bit, more amusing though than annoying].
what i really like about menial job though are the daydreams. the available recreational brain activity really works for me. i be pondering, planning, big big plans, big big dreams. the time goes by fast on the job. i like being in my head.
but the body is tired at the end of the day. my feet hurts from standing all day and i got no energy because i’m trying to lose some kilos.
so not a lot of forward momentum happening with all these ruminating, planning, taking over the world ideas. my drafts for somethings are out of control.
what are you coping from?
i think mine is my childhood. not necessarily because i had a bad one. i think i had a solid upbringing. i just wish i put a little bit more effort into everything. i wish that i learned earlier that fear is the mind killer.
i wish i livedfailed more. realising that at twentyfive, it feels like a blessing, and yet, i feel like that’s still a lot of life that i’ve missed.
so now there's been this tug and pull that i’ve been feeling about optimisation/productivity. i feel like i want a version of my life to live in this rigid, structured schedule. but at the same time, i just want a version where i just go with the flow, freedom of movement, no guardrails. idk. i think i’m starting to settle something in between, like living with a mantra or litany, northstar of sorts. i’m desperate for a purpose.
i think i want a religion.
it is lonesome here, most times—sometimes, but lonesome is just that, it’s sad, maybe even depressing, but it’s also calm and cozy, relaxing solitude, dare i say a bit exciting, like my own little secret. but not a realreal secret. the door is open for those who find it, it’s just me here. no pressure. no shame. no lies. just [packaged]honesty.
i like it here.
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2025-12-23 17:34:00
Here's the list of questions in different languages
==1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before?==
Got married, stayed in hotels with friends, visited France, had a butterfly on my hand, finished up 45 ECTS in education, started volunteering for noyb, visited a conference in my desired field :)
==2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions?==
I think I had no strict resolutions, just wishes? I did invest more time into creative and fitness pursuits and passed my cert so I think yes :)
==3. Did anyone close to you give birth?==
No!
==4. Did anyone close to you die?==
Also no.
==5. What cities/states/countries did you visit?==
Aside from Alsace in France: Munich, Fürth, Nuremberg, Erlangen, Tübingen, Gießen, Offenbach, Zirndorf, Koblenz and Oberhausen.
==6. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year?==
A little bit more rest. I pushed myself a lot this year, and moving forward, I want to respect my limits and come to terms with them. I don't want to burn out or permanently damage myself. Sometimes it feels like getting worse below a certain known point is a slow burn unlocking incrementally over months or years, but after recovering from it for a while, it doesn't take nearly as long to end up back at that point than when you originally progressed to it. I want to keep that in mind.
==7. What date(s) from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?==
03.05.2025 - the wedding date.
==8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?==
Becoming a certified data protection consultant next to full-time work and part-time studies.
==9. What was your biggest failure?==
I don't know if I had any significant failures that stuck with me or were my fault. I unfortunately failed another medication for my illnesses, but that's hardly something I can control.
==10. What other hardships did you face?==
- There's been a lot of change at work, with people getting fired, leaving, or being moved to different departments. Had to deal with difficult coworkers.
- Was denied an internal transfer to a department that wanted me. Leadership isn't interested in creating more data protection roles.
- Rejected from a job posting that asked for ridiculously much in paper qualifications for a job I can do with the ones I already have. Even others agreed it was over the top. They haven't found anyone for the job since.
- Had a coworker lie about how much she contributed to a project and omitted how much I helped by giving her a copy of our database backend. Boss knows this, acknowledges it in private, yet continues to publicly peddle the story of how that coworker did it all on her own.
- Feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of leaving the place I worked for since 2018, and wanting to move far away, having to coordinate both job search and apartment search.
- And the fact that no one wants to employ my wonderful wife for a year now.
==11. Did you suffer illness or injury?==
Yes. Unfortunately not just my chronic illnesses, but also I was sick with a cold in a hotel room in Tübingen and had to miss out on the birthday party we originally traveled there for.
==12. What was the best thing you bought?==
I barely have any overview of what I bought, since I usually buy so little that isn't just groceries and stuff like that. The stickers I bought at conventions bring me a lot of joy, as do my Sanrio vinyl plushies, and Careless People was the best book purchase I made this year, I think.
==13. Whose behavior merited celebration?==
My wife! She is amazing in what she does, and she is so supportive of my goals, dreams, and my limits. She's so resilient, calm, and understanding. Simply a cool and interesting person, too.
==14. Whose behavior made you appalled?==
People I know who have a talent of making themselves the victim in every situation, picking fights, never taking responsibility and almost never admitting mistakes, while being very patronizing whenever they have to explain anything. There have been a couple moments this year when I had to bite my tongue or else it would have completely escalated, I think. There are some people I only tolerate because it would otherwise cause issues in the group (work or otherwise).
==15. Where did most of your money go?==
My education/career. I paid almost 3k for the cert, about 340 Euro in semester fees, and 534 Euro for a conference of that field. Even the wedding was cheaper than my ambitions. Unfortunately, the upcoming certs I still wanna do are equally expensive. I don't know why other people ask for Birkin bags and cars from their sugar daddies and paypigs, why not ask for education costs to be covered? lol
==16. What did you get really, really, really excited about?==
The conference :)
==17. What song will always remind you of this year?==
Difficult to say yet... maybe Ripping Rubber by Haircuts for Men?
==18. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? Richer or poorer? Healthier or unhealthier?==
It's such a mixed time right now, I can't yet say. I am almost at the same point I was last year. Maybe a little worse; I think last year, the meds were already working well at this point and I was very hopeful. I am just starting a new one and coming out of a crisis. I guess we're poorer because of all the extra expenses this year and the unemployment benefits my wife gets are less than the work she used to do.
==19. What do you wish you’d done more of?==
I don't think there is something like 'enough' for me in many aspects. I feel like I could have always done more, even if it wouldn't be physically possible, or if I already pushed my limits to make it happen. I'd probably always say more time studying and volunteering, more time exercising, drawing, and reading, even though I already did what I could. I should actually do more intentional, dedicated resting.
==20. What do you wish you’d done less of?==
I think it was fine the way it was.
==21. How are you spending the holidays?==
This year is a bit... cold and sterile. I don't particularly care for Christmas decoration and think it's gaudy, but I can't deny it adds something. Without a tree, decorations or snow, it seems a bit weird, as if it is any other time of the year, but in gray. We had lots of question marks around when and where we would celebrate the holidays because some people just couldn't decide on anything until closely prior, when we finally made the choice to stay home due to my current health and not wanting to hassle family with a stay on short notice, plus not wanting to get dragged around to tons of activities or have to explain myself. You know, despite everyone knowing I am chronically ill and what it entails, I sometimes still face judgment about not wanting to attend huge gatherings or see lots of people during waves of respiratory infections, or for sleeping longer, or just needing to lie down for a little while. You can explain that to people over and over, it doesn't matter. The same person who pities you for your pain can't understand why you want to hang out in bed doing nothing at 4pm. I am currently very much still taking it day by day and can be incredibly depressed the next day, and I don't really need judgment about saying no to visiting a my wife's grandmother right now. But we'll spend NYE with friends :)
==22. Did you fall in love this year?==
I fall in love with my wife a little more each day. Other than her, no.
==23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?==
Yes. Maybe hate is a strong word. Disliking, though.
==24. What was your favorite show?==
Severance!
==25. What was the best book you read?==
Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams. I am also not sure when I finished Flowers for Algernon, that would be a close second if it was this year.
==26. What was your greatest musical discovery of the year?==
==27. What was your favorite film?==
I barely watched any! Maybe Nosferatu.
==28. What was your favorite meal?==
Tteokbokki.
==29. What did you want and get?==
My certificate!
==30. What did you want and not get?==
A job in data protection (to be fair, I only applied to one internal listing so far!). And my workplace giving me a reason to stay!
==31. What did you do on your birthday?==
My wife organized a birthday party for me :) I didn't have one since I was 9 years old. My parents only had that one for me and then either forbid it or made it very hard, or I didn't have any friends during some times as a teen. At some point I had just kinda given up, especially after having none at other milestone birthdays. It was so nice to be surrounded by people that love me and play some fun games and have cake together.
==32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?==
If my medication could have just continued working for me.
==33. How would you describe your personal fashion this year?==
Experimental, more colorful, whimsical. I still want to expand on that.
==34. What kept you sane?==
My wife, looking at Sanrio characters, doodling, venting to coworkers about work issues.
==35. Which celebrity/public figure did you admire the most?==
Molly White!
==36. What political issue stirred you the most?==
There are so many! To choose two in different spheres of severity: The genocide on Palestinians by Israel, and the Digital Omnibus of the EU.
==37. Who did you miss?==
I dearly miss my dead dog, Filou, who died over 2 years ago.
==38. Who was the best new person you met?==
Difficult to choose... I guess it would be Cris!
==39. What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?==
It's usually better to slow down a bit and continue things in a manageable pace, than do a lot and then become so stressed or sick that you can't do anything at all. So, I guess the old adage about how slow and steady wins the race.
==40. What is a quote that sums up your year?==
I don't know if I can think of a quote, per se, but a piece of art.
There's this art piece by Anna Haifisch that I have always related to very deeply:
But nowadays, with a wife, and friends, and my wife's family, I can finally relate to the addition by another artist (molabuddy):
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2025-12-23 15:59:00
My partner's family plays games after dinner and I really like it. Like really. I've always wanted to be around people like this, family or otherwise. When I was growing up I wanted to play games all the time but my family wasn't really about that life, which is okay, people are different, but, also, I was kinda sorta led to believe that it was foolish and selfish of me to assume that other people on earth would, if they had their druthers, want to play games every day.
Sometimes I write stuff out here and like, big parts of myself move and shift and morph into a different configuration of me. Not always, but sometimes. Today is a sometimes. Something else slid into place or at least into view, but then it ran away. I wanted to catch it so I closed my eyes, thought back, remembered, parsed, and processed, and the pink goo became a hotdog of pure thought and I understood that an image of adulthood was loaded onto my hard drive a long time ago and the last 20 years have really only been about slowly, slowly, sloooowwwwlllly realizing that all of my whimsy was systematically beaten out of me at a young age and only started to grow back properly about five years ago.
It was a rainy day in Victoria, but when you're a stone's throw from the ocean water means something different.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch to
🌳 grass sleep
🌷 now
Be good to yourself.
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