2025-12-23 03:49:00

This might rustle some jimmies, but I don't really care. I'm tired of seeing these hacker news posts getting blasted onto trending, half the time they far surpass anything anyone posts purely on this platform.

I'm not mad at the people who post something tech-related and it happened to get cross posted as was the case with Ava some time back. I'm talking about the posts that are primarily optimized for the hacker news platform. It never fails too, it's always glazing AI/LLMs.

I don't mind tech posts, I like seeing the odd tech stuff that people post, helpful code snippets, etc. I'm just tired of seeing AI circle jerking on this platform.

I'm not calling for Herman to suppress these posts, that would be silly of me and kinda cringe. I'm just screaming at a cloud with the displeasure I and some of my friends on this platform have aired.

The fun thing about this platform is just seeing the mundane thoughts of regular people. Not shilling some buzzword for clicks.

I swear to god if I hear "paradigm shift" with AI one more time I'm gonna fucking lose it...

If you're amongst those people who writes this sort of AI glazing shit and would like to email me your strongly worded email at your displeasure of my post. Don't bother. I won't read it. It will go right into the trash. I didn't value your opinion before, and I certainly won't value it now.

Pirate is wearing grey oversized Goofy tee and green plaid PJ bottoms.
Pirate is feeling tired
Pirate is listening to his 2000s alternative music playlist on iPod.
Pirate is playing Bioshock on the XBOX 360

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2025-12-22 07:32:00

These aren’t genuine proposals to fix social media sites, but thought experiments that I wonder about in terms of how it would affect online discussion culture. Wouldn’t mind seeing it on alternative platforms that want to try out something new or weird, though.

Idea 1

Social media site where you can’t leave a comment on a link submission until 12h have passed.

• Arose out of the realization that the immediacy of being first to comment something ruins things.
• People wanna be the first one to get the highest visibility, upvotes and attention, but those who rush to be first are only reading the title or only skimming for 20 seconds at best, which creates confusion and misinformation. Lots of people’s arguments in comment sections are already refuted in the original post or link, or they would know if they clicked around on the linked site.
• A cooldown period would enable more deep reading and time to think about the contents before writing a hot take.
• I know it would cut down on comments and post engagement, but is that necessarily bad if you are trying to build a good site that doesn’t make money off of toxic engagement? If you really want to comment on something, you’ll go back to do so. On a slow site, which would be preferable anyway, it would still be on top 12h later.
• Maybe that mechanism would make people realize that 99% of stuff probably doesn’t warrant a comment from them (especially since so, so many online comments just reiterate what was already said!) and that they’re fine letting it go after sitting through the initial discomfort of not being able to comment.
• ==Problem:== You might not have seen it 12h ago, and could immediately comment if you see it late enough. Wondered if it should be “12h after seeing a post” instead. Would unlock the post at different times for everyone though, and don’t know if that’s good.

Idea 2

Social media site where you only ever see one comment underneath a post that you can engage with, not all of them.

• Which one you see is random on first click, but then consistent for all other times you click on it as it is saved to your account.
• This ‘match’ stays until the post is archived. Then, everyone gets to see all comments and conversations.
• Logged out users get a random one each refresh.
• Reasoning: Big comment sections are overwhelming: You can get in there and beef with hundreds of people and have multiple conversations in different sub-threads and child comments at once, and I don’t think that’s good. Imagine in real life, just 100 people in the room all talking at each other at the same time. It’s too big, too much. No deep conversation possible because so many people quickly butt in with flippant short responses and will never fully read your comment or your replies.
• So, what about a link post on a Reddit/HN type of platform, and you see it got 1.300 comments, but when clicking on it, you get to make one top level comment, but also get matched with only one other top level comment? Means you’d have a conversation about the link content with two other people: One is responding to you (if you chose to comment and they chose to engage with you) and one is with another person that posted. There’s no huge sea of people, no people just butting in and derailing.
• ==Problem:== Would probably feel like censorship to people if most others on the platform will never get to see their comment, as most won’t go back to an archived post to read it all. The interactions that do happen might feel more personal, but there will be less interaction overall.

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2025-12-22 02:29:55

I always had a fascination for the nights, I feel like they can be traced back to a decade ago, when I was part of a Scouts group.

It was one of my first times going for camping, I was a kid and very scared of going there by myself at the time, but I went with my group plus a few others. and when it started getting dark, with the shadows of the trees covering the place, I needed to deliver something to someone over there, can't recall what it is, but when I went on my way, I saw the sky. It was absolutely beautiful.

I never saw the night being so blue, full of stars and even making out constellations while illuminating the floor so brightly that I never thought possible in my years living in the city, but it was an incredible sight. I only saw it for 30 seconds or so, but it stuck with me ever since.

Another good memory I have while being a Scout was when we reunited with all the scouts of the area near us, and we did a massive circle where we talked, ate food and played hide and seek in the darkness. It was massively fun, and I mean it, even if i was awfully tired from the long trail we needed to go to get there at first.

Ever since I quit being a Scout, I've been trying to chase that high from the nights, but because I live in the city, there's massive pollution from the lights, which makes most stars not be visible, and the sky pitch black.

Sometimes I would like to go walk in the night at least, and see how it all looks from there, but the city I live in is dangerous, so that's automatically discarded, even if I wish it wasn't so.

Life may try to get in the way of my memories, making it seem like all I'm doing is for naught, that it's just not worth it anymore, but then I remember that night, those moments, and it fills me with wonder that I thought I lost long ago.

Even if I may never see night like that again, even if all the stars die eventually, even if I die, I'll take that night view and those memories deep to my heart, because there is beauty in our world, natural beauty that's awaiting to be discovered, and it'll always be there waiting for us.

Even if sometimes it feels the opposite way, the world we live in is beautiful and it makes me glad to be alive, although all that beauty is often hidden.

• Anubi "Moonie" Arts.

2025-12-22 00:41:00

2025 年，是泽泽和我完全生活在里斯本的第一年。从最开始来到这里时的懵懂，到现在对这座城市越来越熟悉。谈不上有什么惊喜与意外，只是平平淡淡的生活。以至于，当我开始写这篇文章时，都不知道该从何处开始落笔。

思忖许久，就以几个篇章来告别 2025 吧。

生活篇

多年来，我时常自嘲自己是一个「心有烟霞志，奈何水云身」的人，一直少有安稳的生活。在 2023 年的电子报中我便有过分享。

今年年初，我和泽泽在外闲逛时，我说：「或许我们是走到了。」只是走到之后，发现这里没有海市蜃楼般的光影，只有生活本身。

距离公寓几公里外，每周日有露天集市，非常像农村的赶大集。从刚来里斯本到今年上半年，我们几乎每个周日早上都会去那里买菜。新鲜蔬菜多是附近农家自种，比超市更丰富，也便宜很多。每月还会去 Rossio 的一家肉铺，买几公斤牛羊肉回家分装冷冻。

泽泽喜欢吃手擀面，我就跟着小高姐的视频学做。想吃馅饼时，我擀皮，他包馅儿。也尝试过几次做饺子，奈何实在力有不逮。泽泽四处踅摸，找到了一家做手工饺子的华人，还能送货上门。于是每隔几个月，我们会订几百个不同口味的饺子慢慢吃。

两人都有空时，会坐火车到里斯本周边的市镇闲逛。累了，就找一家咖啡馆，吃个蛋挞，喝杯咖啡。

这样的日子平淡，但真实。

结束第一期语言课程后，我们并没有继续下一个等级的学习，而是选择先找工作。泽泽原本比我更早找到工作，只是那个工作要求他去波尔图。当时我正在几个面试中，其中有两家公司已进入最后阶段，工作地点都在里斯本。于是，泽泽毫不犹豫地为了我放弃去波尔图，重新在里斯本找工作。我并不希望他做出如此大的牺牲，他却很认真地说服我尊重他的决定。在很多事情上，他还是想得比我更深、更远。最终他还是比我先在里斯本找到了工作。不得不说，优秀的人到哪里都闪闪发光。

3 月底，在与会计师商议并和公司达成一致后，我开始以自由职业者身份提供服务。终于能在这里挣钱、纳税，不必再坐吃山空。泽泽和我每月的收入，足以让我们在里斯本体面生活。这样的开局，已算顺遂。

回顾这段经历，最深刻的体会是：初来乍到，务必要找专业的人做专业的事。移居事宜需要当地合规律师，财税问题则需要当地专业会计师。律师的重要性自不待言，但很多人会低估与会计师合作的价值。起初我也以为报税很简单，无非是上网搜索攻略，再不济借助 AI 辅助也能搞定。然而真正面对葡萄牙税务体系时才发现，IRS、IRC、IVA 这些税种如何适用，季度预缴如何计算，哪些支出可以抵扣，Social Security 缴纳比例如何选择……每个决定都直接影响实际收入和未来规划，而这些情境判断，非当地专业人士难以给出。税务上的疏忽，有时比移居手续的失误更难补救，后果也更为严重。

因为不再是家和学校两点一线，我得以更深入地观察脚下的土地。葡萄牙步入民主社会，也就短短半个世纪的光景。从政府部门到平民生活，多多少少都还带着一些萨拉查威权专政时期的阴影。虽然从今年的几次重要修法也能看出民主宪政的坚韧，但社会的长期撕裂往往孕育着巨大的危机。从 2024 年和 2025 年的各项经济与民生数据来看，葡萄牙正在改变颓势，走出泥沼。只是极右翼声浪的不断扩大，却也昭示着更深层次的结构性矛盾并没有得到解决。

例如，葡萄牙的内陆地区，面临着严峻的形势，医院和学校因为人手不足被迫关闭，年轻人大量外流。而在沿海地区和大城市，则又是一片欣欣向荣、歌舞升平的景象。这难免会让身处内陆的居民感到被抛弃。

再例如，里斯本传统市中心的几个街区，业已成为南亚劳工的聚居地。这些区域长期缺乏公共投入，治安和环境问题突出，与周边原住民社区之间也因文化差异产生各种摩擦。

当然，这些问题也不仅仅是葡萄牙面对的问题。许多国家，甚至像加拿大、澳大利亚这样的传统移民国家，也在经历类似的困境。我也开始理解为什么有些移居海外的博主在分享体会时会流露出迷茫，理解为什么一些朋友专门来问我：移居是否值得。

我想说，对于正在考虑移居的人而言，排在第一位的不是资金够不够、环境能不能适应、语言是不是障碍，而是当你真的到了那个国家开始生活时，能不能接纳那些让你不满意的地方，接纳那些原本在中国就想逃离、却发现新国家也一样存在的问题。

最容易「水土不服」的，恰恰不是那些客观条件最艰难的人，而是那些带着强烈「救赎叙事」移居的人，仿佛换个国家就能重启人生，就能治愈一切在中国的不如意。现在各国多多少少都在右转，民粹主义、血统论层出不穷。如果移居是为了逃离某种不确定性和压抑感，却发现新国家也在经历类似的转向，那种失落会格外强烈。

真正的问题从来不是外部环境有多完美，而是能否在理想破灭后，依然保持内在的稳定，找到安顿自己的方式。人可以换国家，但换不掉自己。

居住在里斯本，我常会告诉自己：「我现在是边缘国家的边缘人，要享受这份边缘的感受。」

这份边缘是具体的。走在街上，葡语的招牌、对话、笑话，我大多只能捕捉到只言片语。社交媒体里的中文热点，与这里的新闻版面毫无交集。我既不在中国的语境里，也不完全在葡萄牙的语境里，悬浮在两者之间的某个地带。

但边缘也意味着距离。距离带来观察的余地，也带来某种自由。不必追逐中心的认可，不必焦虑于主流的标准，甚至不必时刻证明自己的存在。

2022 年我写到「时常远离流行和主流，是为了更好的保护自己。」而今，在里斯本，这句话得到了验证。

创作篇

2025 年，我在博客上写了 19 篇文章（其中一篇后来被我隐藏）。电子报经过十月份的合并与删节，现在共有 56 篇。

对于一个以写作为日常实践的人来说，这个产量不算高。但我对这个节奏感到满意，因为今年我很少有「为了写而写」的感觉，绝大多数内容来自日常笔记的自然生长。

今年收到了不少读者的反馈。有读者推荐我研究明末清初的文人笔记，帮助我琢磨文白夹杂的风格。也有读者质疑我在文字感情方面的写作方式。比较典型的是一位读者说：

你的文章我读了也有段时间了。其实你的观点我不是看不懂，但是我不知道你本人到底在意什么。写出来的东西总觉得像个旁观者，可你明明是这世界故事里的人。是不是没人让你安全到不用这么分析了？你主观了，世界也能接纳你。大概是你的客观让我读出了一种凄凉的底色吧。

这位读者说得对，尤其是最后那句。

我的写作确实常被读出「客观」、「冷静」、「旁观者」的特质。这不是无意识的风格，而是刻意的选择。就像我在生活中选择了边缘位置，在写作中我也选择了观察者的距离。这种选择确实意味着某种孤独，甚至自傲。站在人群之外，力图清醒地看着一切，包括自己，不可能是温暖的。

但这是我选择的凄凉，不是被迫的凄凉。正因为我太在意这个世界和这个世界上的人，所以才需要保持这个距离。如果我冲进去，用情感语言、用确定性、用归属感来写作，我会失去我能看到的东西。边缘的价值，就在于它提供了观察的余地。

至于「主观」和「客观」，在禅修传统里，这两者本就不是对立的。最彻底的客观，反而需要最诚实的主观承认：我知道我在看，我知道我有立场，我知道我的分析永远不是「上帝视角」。或许，有些自夸地说，正是这种清醒的自觉，让我可以既保持距离，又承认在意；既呈现思考，又不强加结论。

我的写作不是为了说服读者，而是邀请读者参与一个思考的过程。我相信读者能从自己分析中读出我没有明说的东西，也相信读者有能力做出自己的判断。我并不认为这是冷漠，反而认为这是对读者的尊重。

世界当然能接纳我更主观、更温暖的样子。但我选择这样写，是因为我选择了一种激进的主观立场：承认不确定、保持距离、拒绝煽动。这不是每个人都会喜欢的写作方式，如果读者期待的是更多情感共鸣、更多确定的答案，我的文字可能会让人失望。

但这是我能诚实地、有尊严地写作的方式。

在生活中，我是边缘国家的边缘人。在写作中，我也站在主流叙事的边缘。这两种边缘，都是我主动选择的位置。

I am who I am, I am what I am, I am where I am, I am when I am, I am how I am.

观念如其所是，写作如其所是，我如其所是。自然也包括那份凄凉。

工具篇

去年是我的数字工具箱「回归原生」的一年，今年则是「精心甄别」的一年。

笔记软件方面，我没有续订 Heptabase，而是全面转向 Tana。Heptabase 的白板思维很适合梳理复杂概念，但对于我日常的知识管理流程来说，Tana 的大纲结构和 supertags 系统更契合。虽然学习曲线陡峭，但掌握了其内在逻辑后会变得十分顺畅。通过 N8N 部署的几个自动化，也间接拓展了 Tana 的能力。

书签工具从 Pinboard 转向 Mymind，存档则由 DEVONthink 转向 Google Drive。这两个转换背后有共同的考量：减少需要主动维护的工具。Mymind 的自动标签和视觉化呈现，让书签管理从「整理」变成「存放」。Google Drive 的优势则在于无需担心同步和备份，它会静悄悄地工作。

我依然不喜欢 Google 对数据的掌控，但不得不承认在 AI 的争夺赛中，它是最稳健和最有后劲的。Google One 订阅可以家庭共享 Gemini 的高级模型，这在几大 AI 服务中是唯一无需额外支出的。作为一个需要频繁使用 AI 的家庭，这个因素也成为选择 Google 生态的理由之一。

不过，并非所有切换都出于理性考量。我使用 Spotify 已有十多年，它本是最懂我的流媒体。然而不知什么原因，今年的歌单推荐屡次让我哭笑不得。于是索性最大化 Apple One 的价值，切换到 Apple Music。原以为会难受一段时间，没想到过程十分平滑。Apple Music 的音质更好，也让我可以更专心致志地享受古典乐之美。

今年我也尝试了一些新的软件，其中折腾最多的是浏览器。尝试过近十种后，最终还是保持 Safari 为主，搭配 Helium。

试用了几款 AI 浏览器——Dia、Comet 和 ChatGPT Atlas——后，我清楚地认识到自己更倾向于 Claude for Chrome 这样的浏览器扩展。原因不只是出于隐私考虑，还关于一个更根本的问题：谁有权诠释我的行为。

浏览器是我与世界交互的窗口，不仅仅是网络世界。浏览历史中既有规律，也有随机性。但 AI 浏览器会把所有行为都视作有意义的信号。当我发现 Dia 将我随意浏览的内容记录为「我的兴趣」，并基于此回答问题时，我意识到：它不只是记录数据，还在对我的行为赋予意义。

更可怕的是 Comet 和 ChatGPT Atlas 这样的浏览器。它们不仅记住用户的浏览历史，还会将其完全应用于模型的回答中。也就是说，哪怕我已经不再使用它们，在 Perplexity 和 ChatGPT 中的回答也依然会根据曾经的浏览历史来「优化」，甚至越来越「讨好」。

由此形成一个闭环：用户的浏览行为 → AI 建立画像 → 基于画像回答 → 基于回答继续浏览 → 画像被强化。

这和信息茧房、回音室效应的本质相同，只是更加隐蔽。我们以为在正常浏览和提问，但实际上，每一次交互都在训练 AI 如何把我们留在自己的认知边界内。慢慢地，我们将无法分辨哪些是客观的回答，哪些是根据我们的画像被「优化」过的回答。

还有一点更微妙。当我们意识到 AI 在观察我们时，可能会在使用过程中不自觉地自我审查。而这实质上是 AI 在控制人类的表现。

Claude for Chrome、Gemini in Chrome 这样的浏览器扩展就很好。用户有完全的自主权，不会陷入「老大哥在看着你」的境地。它们是工具，而非监视者。

我们需要维持的，哪怕仅是勉力维持的，是那些不应被意义化、系统化，不应被「优化」的时刻。随机性是美丽的，千变万化才更符合这世间的规律。那些随意浏览、无目的漫游，可能恰恰是我们还没有被自己的认知模式完全捕获的证据。

尝试新软件的过程也让我意识到另一个问题：中文圈常常会出现对某些软件的集体推崇，但往往与实际使用体验存在巨大落差。例如某个被反复称赞的 AI 视频学习与字幕生成软件，bug 频出，功能也难称好用。类似的例子不胜枚举。

我并非不舍得为软件付费，实际上有些软件我并不使用，却也订阅或购买了，单纯是为了支持开发者。但当一个产品把心思更多放在营销和社群运营上，而非产品本身时，这种支持就失去了意义。

工具的价值，最终要回到工具本身。

甄别软件的这一年里，也发现了一个有趣的现象。当使用的工具已经没有什么好替换时，内心会有一种极强烈的失落感。例如 Fastmail，它常因总部和服务器位于澳洲和美国，在隐私上不如 Tuta 和 Protonmail 而受到批评。但实际使用那些「隐私至上」的邮件服务后会发现，它们的易用性差得多。而且，当我给使用 Gmail 的人发邮件时，端到端加密有什么意义？不过是自我安慰罢了。

意识到 Fastmail 已经是综合最优解，市面上没有更好的选择时，那种失落感很微妙：一方面是「终于可以不用再折腾」的释然，另一方面是「没有更好的东西可以追求」的空虚。这种失落，本质上是对「工具焦虑」的一种戒断反应。

工具焦虑的本质，是把注意力放在「用什么」而非「做什么」上。当折腾的欲望平息，工具退回到它应有的位置，才能真正开始使用它们。

这和生活、写作是同一个道理。选择边缘，选择距离，选择不被系统化，最终不是为了逃避，而是为了腾出空间给那些真正重要的事：观察、思考、创造，以及偶尔的无目的漫游。

思考篇

这一年，有三个想法反复出现在我的笔记里，慢慢沉淀成某种可以说出口的东西。

第一个，是关于自责。

我见过太多人，包括曾经的自己，把结构性的困境内化成道德上的自我否定。找不到工作，是我不够努力；融入不了环境，是我有问题；达不到预期，是我无能。这种自我苛责看似是负责任，实则是一种偷懒。因为责怪自己最容易，不需要去分析真正的原因。对自己温柔，不是宽纵，而是拒绝把不属于自己的责任扛在肩上。先分清：这里到底是我做得不好，还是制度、情境、运气本身有问题？分清了，再决定怎么行动。

第二个，是关于真实。

我常说要「做自己」，但真实不是某种藏在内心深处等待被发现的「真我」。真实是在关系中显形的，通过讲述、倾听、互相回应，一点点被验证出来。离开具体的连接谈「做自己」，很容易滑向自恋，甚至自我幻觉。无论创作还是开发，都需要这种在关系中被验证的真实，而不是闭门造车的自我想象。

第三个，是关于政治。

在中文世界里很难不被各种政治议题裹挟。我的态度是：看见并记得权力如何运作、如何伤人，但不把全部注意力和情绪都交给它。这不是轻视，而是一种保护。刻意为自己保留一些只为体验本身而活的空间：一首诗、一杯咖啡、一次无目的的步行、一段安静的坐禅。在权力结构中保持清醒，但把生命投注在可以亲近的纯粹上。

这三点，说到底是同一件事的三个面向：不被外部定义吞噬，也不被内部幻觉困住，在两者之间找到一个可以呼吸的位置。

追念篇

今年二月，晗昕走了。

我们相识于网络，往来于文字，说天下兴衰，谈人生真谛，聊那些只有在深夜才会认真对待的问题。我们曾约好，等我回国，一定要见一面，把盞言欢。

这个约定再也无法实现了。

他走之前的几个月，讲了很多面对的压力和困苦，问我能否通过佛法来化解。再后来，他去西北旅行，发来照片，看着确实像是翻过了那一页。

只是，我没有想到。

得知消息的那天，里斯本春寒料峭。我坐在窗前，很久说不出话。

这一年我选择了「边缘」。但晗昕让我意识到，边缘不总是选择，有时候是被拒之门外。我选择了站在人群之外，而他是想进入，却没能进入。同样是距离，一个带来自由，一个带来伤害。

我们的友谊本身就是边缘状态下的相遇：不在同一座城市，不在同一个圈子，甚至不在同一片大陆，却能在文字里建立真实的联结。透纸传神，两心相契。但边缘也意味着，当他真正坠落的时候，我隔着屏幕，隔着时差，隔着他说「放下了」这句话，什么都没能做。

他生前说：「在我离开的时候，文字会代替我的心脏继续跳动。」

我和几位朋友一起，在他父亲的同意下，建了一个网站，收集他留下的文章。那些文字确实还在跳动。只是写下它们的人，已经不在了。

晗昕，我们没能见上那一面。但你的文字我都留着，你说过的话我都记得。

愿安息。

结语

2025 年终究还是要过去了，完成这篇文章的日子，刚好是冬至日。它不仅意味着「一阳生」，也标志着新秩序的开启。

只是面对这新，我的心情……借用苏辙的这首诗吧：

阴阳升降自相催，齿发谁教老不回。

犹有髻珠常照物，坐看心火冷成灰。

希望每个人都能在即将到来的 2026 年安好。

南无观世音菩萨。

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2025-12-21 05:12:00

Ahoy there.

For about a year now, I have been anti-social media, I've deleted all my accounts and really only use Reddit as a resource for niche subjects (best game in XYZ series to start with, etc.)

I've been trying to figure out what to call this sect of the internet, the clear web, the normie web, the dead web, the corpo web. I'll stick with the dead web for now since I view that space as, well dead. The term to encompass the corporatized parts of the internet.

I wanted to catalog some of the personal changes I've noticed in myself since quitting all social medias earlier this year

becoming re-sensitized.

CW: mentions of suicide and violence. If not in a good head space, I recommend skipping to the next section.

I've notice that my sensitivity to things has increased. I used to be someone who wouldn't even flinch at a beheading video. Gore, violence, porn, distressing encounters, and other forms of hyper-stimulus on the internet were ultimately nothing to me for a while.

Since quitting, I've regained a certain sense of disgust or emotion towards things I see online again. For example, I was watching a micro-documentary on YouTube about MySpace, and in it was talking about a teenage girl who hung herself due to cyberbullying that stemmed from the platform. The documentary showed the audio from the 911 call from the mom; hearing the agony in her voice knowing the scene she witnessed sent a chill down my body that I haven't felt in a very long time. Granted, I probably also feel it extra being a parent.

The offing of ol' Chuckie Kirk was something I normally wouldn't have flinched at, but against my better judgment I watched the video and it fucked me up for a while. If I saw this video 2 years ago, I probably woulda went "damn!" then moved on.

I now am acutely aware that I do feel things again for what I see online and take steps to avoid it. It's interesting seeing how much my attitude has changed about seeing things that are particularly distressing.

less mental dread.

For a while, when I was on social media frequently, I would get inundated with all the worst. Every day I was reading of what the Dipshit in Chief was doing this time, some tragedy unfolding, some human rights violation. It was taking a toll on me.

There is little to gain from being THIS aware to what is going on in the world. I didn't lose my awareness that things suck in the world right now, but it's also not healthy to be constantly reminded of it every day.

tighter sense community.

I feel a greater sense of community in online spaces, niche/indie web circles feel close. I cherish my friends at the Gazette, and it's truly amazing what even this little community does.

The discord server for it has grown so much with so much fun things to interact with (question of the day channel, a hall of fame channel for when one of us says something funny, other stuff, a file sharing system, etc.). I have never met these guys in real life (hell I barely know what 90% of them look like), but I consider them just as much my friends as anyone else I know IRL.

Since quitting social media, I've found these niche spaces the best places to connect with other people. As much as I wish my IRL friends lived closer to me, I am content with my "European friends" (as I say shorthandedly when explaining who I'm talking to to my wife) and my friends in other spaces (like my classic Halo group).

remembering humanity.

Another thing I've noticed since quitting social media is how... normal people are? Like, you see online and it's just endless talk about politics this and drama that. When you step outside and talk to people, there's a surprising amount of people who are seemingly just as removed from this other world as I am. They have their opinions, sure, but it rarely ever comes up.

Politically, people IRL are much more moderate. If you base your view on say conservatives from what you see on the conservative subreddit, you'd think they're a bunch of blundering morons. However, I know quite a number of conservatives (often by proxy of them being parents of friends) and they seem just as pissed at the current administration as I am. Hell, my best friend's dad, a lifelong Republican, went to No Kings and it wasn't to counter protest.

It can be almost jarring seeing how stark of a contrast reality seems compared to what you see online, then it hit me. The internet is mostly bots now. So, it's hard to tell if the really stupid things people are saying on reddit or youtube comment sections ever came from actual people. Every now and then I see the cracks even in these echo chambers. Going back to the conservative subreddit, there are some that believe Trump had little to do with Epstein's trafficking (as foolish as I think it is). However, they're admitting that it's harder and harder to hold on to that with each day.

It makes me hopeful that these people will eventually come around. Even if they don't it still at least makes it seem like people are waking up a little bit. The red hat-wearing MAGA nut is becoming a smaller and smaller minority. Even my next-door neighbor who flew a Trump flag every day outside his house and even had a cutout of Trump on his lawn has taken down both and they have stayed down.

In all this, I think it's important to remember that real life isn't the internet. People are so much more varied than we might think from these comment sections from hyper-curated feeds.

final notes.

I feel different, happier, now than I did prior to quitting the corporatized web. I don't really miss any of it. It took way more from me than it ever gave. Even when it claimed to connect people, it was far from that.

I do somewhat miss social media, at least how it started and the idealized vision of what it could have been. I remember playing CarTown with my dad on Facebook, and posting stupid stuff to my Facebook profile. I could see what mundane things my classmates were doing.

It's funny, we used to mock people for posting the most mundane aspects of their life on social media, but nowadays it seems like we are craving that level of uninteresting content in the midst of chaos.

In a world where you are seeing the war-torn faces of children and the evil of modern geopolitics, it makes you yearn to see someone's boring dinner in your feed.

Pirate is wearing Bluey pajama bottoms and shirt
Pirate is feeling relaxed
Pirate is reading Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams
Pirate is playing Gears of War 2

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2025-12-21 05:04:02

On a long enough timeline, everything on the internet transforms into ‘social media’.

Social media is all about metrics. To be social online, to prove one is social online, is to acquire likes, subscribers, notes, replies, comments, and retweets/stacks.

Ergo, soon enough, everything on the internet transforms into an agent of progress and aggrandizement, wherein the primary—albeit somewhat tacit—purpose of any undertaking is to grow, acquire, or accumulate.

There is nothing wrong with someone wanting their work to be read or heard, of course. But an artist or writer wanting their work to be seen is vastly different from the artist in question creating something for the purpose of it being seen.

The aforementioned, aggrandizing form of the internet is parasitic. If a communal, networked site currently doesn’t have some form of likes, subs, or engagement metrics, you can rest assured that in time, it will. These new engagement metrics will, equally in time, infect the users of said site. The infection in question will transform the user’s (creators') brains into ‘content’ machines, wherein they will no longer create for the sake of art or writing, but for the sake of clicks, likes, and subscribers.

The issue is that the ‘content’ which accrues the most engagement is that which is the most universal, homogenous, safe, accepted, and tolerated. This is to say that any site that includes some form of engagement metric will, eventually, cater primarily to the lowest common denominator.

The best, current example of this is Substack. A site that originally began as a service focused on both showcasing and protecting all forms of writing has quickly transformed into just another run-of-the-mill slop machine, complete with low-effort image/meme posts, video snippets, and AI garbage. It is now, speaking in terms of culture, useless. Substack is dead, long live…websites?

So, I’ve moved back here, to a website. It’s built on Bearblog, the ethos and attitude of which seems perfectly fine to me. Self-hosting was an option, but why spend all that time mucking around just for clout? There’s words on the screen, read them or don’t.

It’s easy to ‘argue’ for likes and subscribers if one believes that popularity is equal to quality. Sometimes this is the case, sometimes it isn’t. So, really, what engagement metrics do is induce laziness. They act as a confusing, haphazard filter that is at best meaningless, and at worst, obfuscating and apathetic.

I’m against them. I’m against engagement metrics. I say this as someone with a world-renowned podcast. Someone who has experienced both ends (bad book reviews and 100,000s of listeners) of the spectrum. They do nothing to bolster creativity and do everything to hamper it. A true artist or writer shouldn’t care if their work is read.

Create to create.

True art is created when no one is watching. When it is assured that there will be no pay-off. When it is accepted that it will never be understood, talked about, or even read!

True art bursts out.

Is the fear of your work not being read or seen really about the work? Or is it about you?